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Crushes, regret and feeling down.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Gravity Defyer, Oct 29, 2016.

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  1. Gravity Defyer

    Gravity Defyer
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    So I had a crush on a friend's friend who is charming and happens to be bisexual. And three years ago I decided to tell him I had a crush on him.

    He replied "but I don't see you as anything else than a friend" and my heart was shattered. Then he proceeded "But I can set you up with a friend of mine" Like my love was some kind of transferable thing. That moment I really got mad :tantrum:

    Months after that we even saw each other at my friend's birthday but I was hurt and angry so when he approached me to talk I ignored him blatantly by talking to another girl and not looking at him (Not proud of that attitude but in that moment it was what I needed to do) So much that he stood up and went to other place to sit.

    We are still Facebook friend and have spoken twice after all this but I have the impression he hates me, he never comments my statuses or likes anything I post (and I do like his stuff)

    To make everything worse some of my bisexual male friends really like him, it's like everybody I know wants to date him. (Even a guy I have a crush on right now, how am I supposed to feel when the guy I currently like, likes the pictures of the guy that broke my heart?)

    Its a complicated feeling and I don't know how to cope with it. I still like him, but he doesn't like me. And even if he liked me I made myself look like a rude person. Everytime I see a picture of him, regret fills my heart because he is cute and charming and smart. And after he rejected me I haven't said to any other guy I'm interested in them because I'm afraid to be hurt again, plus I don't feek like anybody will ever notice me. I never had high self esteem and being rejected certainly didn't help.

    Any thoughts? :tears:
     
    #1 Gravity Defyer, Oct 29, 2016
  2. Lora

    Lora
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    You have to move on. You have to do yourself a favour. Divert your attention away from him, physical and thoughts. Protect your heart. Let it go.
     
    #2 Lora, Oct 29, 2016
  3. Gravity

    Gravity
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    It's normal to feel down for a while after someone tells you they're not interested - nobody likes rejection, even if it's not personal. But, to still be affected by this three years down the line is a long time.

    Despite telling him how you feel, it doesn't sound like you've really gotten any closure here. You might seek that out in a lot of different ways. Maybe you need to explain to him why you were so upset with what he said, if he's willing to talk (it's possible he didn't realize how strongly you felt, and he just thought you were looking for someone to date and was trying to be helpful). Maybe you need to remove him from your Facebook, at least temporarily, just so you don't have constant reminders of him and what he's doing or who he's talking to now.

    Regardless, you CAN take steps and make choices to refocus yourself and find new people in your life. Whatever else might have happened here, you don't deserve to spend another three years beating yourself up over this. You deserve to keep moving forward.
     
    #3 Gravity, Oct 29, 2016
  4. Gravity Defyer

    Gravity Defyer
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    This is actually very good advice, any tips for letting go?

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2016 at 12:15 PM ----------
    I haven't noticed I'm quite literally stuck on something that happened years ago :eusa_doh:

    How can I find closure on this situation? I know I made some mistakes but I feel like a "grudge" is being holded against me because of how rude I was.

    I will try to move forward and stop beating myaelf up. As you say, I don't deserve to spend other 3 years in pain!
     
    #4 Gravity Defyer, Oct 29, 2016
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