Hello, Empty Closets! Very recently I've fallen in love with another boy in one of my classes, and I feel like he's into me too (from what I've read on the web, at least), for example, he keeps eye contact with me and looks at me whenever he can get the chance, which I think is a very solid piece of evidence that he's into me in my opinion :icon_bigg: He also seems to be gay too, for example, he hangs around more girls than boys and he sounds a bit gay the way he talks, but i was told not to judge sexuality based on those two factors, so I'm just kind of considering those two, even though I feel it's likely he is gay ornat least bisexual with a strong male preference. But other than that he seems into me. Anyway, I just need help on tips on how to get to know him better. I don't have good social skills, as most of my friendships happen naturally and not forced like I'm trying to make this one. We've engaged in conversation before, just some witty comments or laughs on funny criticisms I've made on a movie we were watching in class this week. He's also in that one class out of the four i attend, so I don't know where else to find him elsewhere before or after said class. We do have similar interests, for example, video games or netflix, that I could use as an ice breaker, but I just don't know how to approach him, yet casually. I just don't want it to come off forced/awkward, if you know what I mean (especially if he's into me, he might get turned off if i make a bad move :icon_sad: ). Thanks in advance for the help!
Hey mattni, Welcome to EC! From your post, it sounds like he definitely likes you. Whether or not he likes you ‘that way’ or just wants to be friends, you can only tell by getting to know him. Why not just start a casual conversation with him sometime? You said that you already know that you have some common interests and you are in a class together, so it’s not like you’d be randomly walking up to a stranger on the street and start talking to him. Are you friends with anyone he likes to hang out with? If so, you might ask them what kinds of things he’s in to. You could just start by making small talk - like asking him how things are going. After a weekend, you could ask him how his weekend went. If there are common video games you like, perhaps you could ask him about his preferences on one of those games. You can also show interest in things he does or says. The main thing, though, is to approach this as making a new friend first. If you go into this trying to make a bf, that could make it much harder for you and awkward for him. And if you aren't compatible as good friends, there probably isn’t much chance of a real bf relationship, is there? So maybe just start interacting with him and see if there are opportunities for the two of you to hang out outside of school and get to know one another. If he really is into you ‘that way’, he will likely suggest ideas for hanging out together, as well, once you have shown interest in at least being his friend. I hope some of that helps.
Thanks for responding! The problem with the casual conversation thing is, the class I attend that he's in we have to sit at computers around the perimeter of the classroom, and he doesn't sit near me, and I just can't walk up and start talking, but I could possibly find out what he does at lunch or after school. And yes, I'm pretty sure one of my closer friends play videi games with him, at least once already, so I migh ask him. Thanks for the ideas, though. Will keep in mind :icon_wink:
What about lingering outside the classroom and catching him on the way into the classroom? Or perhaps talking to him on the way out sometime? What about lunch time? Is there an opportunity to meet him at lunch time and talk to him?
Hey mattni, I know it can be nerve-wracking to try talking to a crush for the first time, but how you present yourself is just as important as what you say (or don’t say). If you appear outwardly confident and look directly in his eyes (while smiling) when talking to him, that goes a long way, regardless of what you actually say. (And you can be trembling with fright inside as long as you do your best to appear outwardly confident.) I don’t know if this will help, but think about it this way. What do you have to lose? What’s the worst that can happen? That you make a fool of yourself and he ends of thinking you’re an idiot that he never wants to talk to again? Possible, but it sounds like he likes you already, even though he doesn’t really know you yet, and he’s likely to give you the benefit of any doubt a hundred times over before judging you too harshly. And, on the flip side, if you DON’T engage him in conversation, you are just keeping the status quo. You are sitting there pining for him, not knowing if he could be your friend or perhaps something more. No resolution for you. Just frustrating speculation and longing…
Thanks for the boost, man. It does help. Of course I try to look my best around him, and when hes talking to me I maintain eye contact and smile (and I'd be trembling in nervousness that my crush himself is actually showing interest in me :eusa_danc ) He's a really nice guy, I'm sure he wouldn't judge me too hard if I mess up, thankfully. And you're right, I don't want to sit there doing nothing, I mean hell, I don't want him to feel like I'm not into him, so I'm gonna muster up a lot of confidence. I mean hell, I've been thinking non stop about this for the past week. I'm not gonna back down, especially since finding another guy who likes men is hard in my school. If i do talk to him, sooner or later I'm sure it'll be worth it. Thanks for the help again! (!)
