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Came out to family and now he won't speak...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Yuteno, Nov 4, 2016.

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  1. Yuteno

    Yuteno
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    Out to everyone
    After suffering with anxiety and depression for an extended period of time related to coming out to my family, finally found the bottle to tell my mum last Saturday. She was absolutely fine and supportive as was my sister (lives away at university). She also told my dad who related to much of the anxiety and depression as was aware of his likely views if I were to come out.

    Since coming out to them last Saturday, he has completed refused to talk to me. He walks out of a room if I walk in. Won't do anything for me or even acknowledge I exist.

    Have started taking a high dose of antidepressants and have been off work for a month related to the stress of sexuality and coming out but this has added a greater feeling of negativity to the situation. I feel awkward in my home. Any advice?
     
    #1 Yuteno, Nov 4, 2016
  2. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Yuteno,

    I’m so glad that your mom and your sister are supportive. You at least have allies in your immediate family.

    I would say not to worry about your Dad for now. He needs time to process this. Think back on how long it took for you to understand and accept your sexuality. Your Dad has only has a handful of days to come to terms with this in his own mind. He has to do this at his own pace and on his own terms, so I strongly recommend that you give him the space he wants and not press him for now.

    Eventually, he should realize that you are still the same son that he has always known, you are just a little different than he knew before, in terms of your sexuality. Most times these days, a parents’ unconditional love wins out over any prejudices they may hold about gay people.

    I hope that helps a little.

    Take Care. Stay strong and proud!:slight_smile:
     
    #2 Quantumreality, Nov 4, 2016
  3. falconfalcon

    falconfalcon Guest

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    Let it go...

    This is his problem, not yours. If he wants to go down this path of negativity, dont go with him.

    Give him his space, detach.

    You need to take care of yourself and enjoy your life. Do that - go there. Let him go his way.

    If your Dad want to talk to you, or expresses any reasons or ideas as to why he has a problem with sexuality, you can try and help him work through that.

    Has he said anything like that?

    There are books and stuff for parents of LGBTs.. I'm not to familiar with them but they are there. I know a few specifically by title, but they are specifically about Christianity and LGBT - and I dont know if that is part of his issue... I can give you some information like that if you like - just leave a message on my wall and I'll get back to you :slight_smile:

    His issues are his - dont let them effect you. If you want you can try talking to your Mom about it, she might have some insight into his behavior.

    His behavior is fairly immature. There is really nothing you can do about that, or much to work with.

    He seems to want his space on this. Let it go - and make sure you are OK - take care of yourself emotionally as best you can :slight_smile:

    t/c :slight_smile:
     
    #3 falconfalcon, Nov 4, 2016
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