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Too nervous to talk to my crush

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by mattni, Nov 4, 2016.

  1. mattni

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    Hey, it's me again. Just an update on my whole boyfriend situation. (original thread here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/224900-how-get-know-my-crush-better.html)

    Anyway, as of recent my crush still seems interested in me... but the problem is I can't talk to him at all. I was given advice to just come up to him and say hi, but I think it's weird and out of nowhere, and no matter how much I say it is normal, I can't do it. I've always had social anxiety and this situation I have is no exception. Any advice on how to overcome this? I really want to break this social barrier so I can get to know him.
     
  2. Barbatus

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    Hi mattni,

    Do you want to approach him in a natural way? I was thinking of suggesting that you just go up and speak to him but given your social anxiety I'm not sure that would be the best approach. If you want to approach him in a natural way then what about doing it through the friend you mentioned in your previous thread? Maybe you could suggest a video game evening. Even if you speak online it might give you the 'in' you're looking for. Otherwise could you sit next to him in your class or do you have assigned seats?

    The other thing I would just say is that Quantumreality's advice about approaching this as a potential friendship is important. If you go in too hard then it might intimidate him and on the other hand you will want to be clear fairly early on that you like him if you think that he would be receptive. Not saying anything about now but just something to think about.

    So maybe suggest the video game evening or try and sit next to him. Otherwise could you elaborate on what other interests you share or if he is a member of any clubs you would consider joining?
     
  3. mattni

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    Thank you for the response!

    Turns out the friend who "played" with him really didn't play with him before as I asked him if he's played with anyone else recently and my friend said no, so that door is shut. Also I can't sit next to him, the ones he sits with are girls and I know that if I try sitting where they want to sit I'll get an earful, so I'm not even gonna try that at all.

    His interests are basically football and video games such as CS:GO. I don't like football much, and CS:GO has no clubs as it's a terrorist game and blahblahblah violence, and I don't think he's in any clubs because of the lone fact he's in football (Don't worry though, I'll still support him on the fact he plays football if we become a thing even though I don't like it very much). Soooo yeah.
     
  4. dounuts7975

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    Well I'm not quite sure how much this will help since I never had any issues talking but maybe just comment on things? Like say something funny happens just start laughing or say wow or something anything to get ur crush talking. Anyways that's my advice don't know how much it'll help but hey can't hurt anything right?
     
  5. mattni

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    He sits far away from me so I can't possibly laugh at anything he says. He's also really quiet (unless he's talking to me, which is confusing). So I'm not sure I can do that. But thanks anyway! :slight_smile:
     
  6. dounuts7975

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    Maybe he just likes talkin to u?
     
  7. mattni

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    I wouldn't say that. He's shown signs of interest in me, as if I were his crush.
     
  8. dounuts7975

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    Ahhhhhh I get it now. Well while i can't tell u how u should go about this just don't get so hooked on the thought of him liking u that u don't think about other possibilities . Speaking from personal experience it hurts a lot more If u go into it never thinking what if he doesn't like me. Just make sure ur not getting too focused on him . Some people show signs of liking people not purposely . I'll use my crush for example. He would look me in the eyes smile he pretty much set off every single gay dar alarm I have . But he's not gay so just make sure u think about other possibilities . Hope that helped!
     
  9. mattni

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    Oh, ok. Thanks for the advice.
     
  10. dounuts7975

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    Btw I'm 15 so I might not give the best advice!
     
  11. mattni

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    Heh, don't worry, I'm 14 and I'm not experienced either :icon_wink
     
  12. dounuts7975

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    So dude how's it goin ? U haven't updated on here !