Honestly I just feel so alone right now. I only have two friends and they both keep making decisions that make it so I can't spend time with them. I am homeschooled I don't have a chance to make more friends. They both know I've been depressed lately but with their current situation, I don't really get to talk to either of them. One of them is a girl, I'll call her C. She is the best friend I've had in a long time and I was planning on coming out to her as agender. Except I haven't been able to find a good time because she keeps doing stupid stuff. As for my other friend, let's call him Z, he's also my cousin. He's like a brother to me. Because C has been so unavailable lately, I decided I would come out to Z first I mean, he's family. But when he got home, I got scared and didn't tell him. Then, my guardians got home early and so I decided to wait until tonight. That is, until he got yelled at for doing something else stupid! As I stated near the beginning, I'm depressed and all of this has just made me feel even more like I'm not important enough. It just seems like my problems are never serious enough. Like I'm not important enough to be anyone's priority. Like no one cares enough to notice when I want to tell them something, when I'm upset, when I want to cry. I just feel like I have no one and it's starting to matter more than it did before. And on top of it all, no one will know I shed tears writing this. No one will know because I wiped my eyes and I went out there and acted like everything was fine. And that was enough to convince them. Sorry for the long post and thanks to anyone who takes the time to read.
Hey.... Easy does it. Take care I understand - and You DO Matter Isolation is terrible - I'm sorry. Its just like this - there Are people out there who care about you and respect you and you matter to them - they just dont know what's going on with you right now because they have no way. But they are out there - and its important you get connected to them. Take it easy - being isolated is terrible on a human. I'm glad you have your two friends - i'm sorry its a little hard with them right now. It sounds like your guardians aren't there enough for you. This happens. But you DO need more support. Do you have any other positive adults in your life? Coaches? Anyone at a church or faith based organization? Anybody? Being homeschooled can have its great sides, but if the student becomes disconnected from the community its a serious problem. All students need to have positive connections to the community, and friends, and positive adults who are there for them and support them. Take good care of yourself and keep reaching out!!!!! (*hug*)
