So...I may be the most oblivious dumbass on the face of the earth. Thinking back, I can think of two times where I could have made a go with two gorgeous guys but it never dawned on me that they were hitting on me. I know I suffer from low self esteem (which may be weird for a cop to say) and I've never considered myself good looking...maybe not fugly but def nowhere near a 10. So, a few years ago while I was in the Coast Guard I went to one of my coworker's apartment who lived in the same complex. We were watching Top Gun (my all time favorite movie!). He was sitting in a recliner and I was sitting on the floor leaned up against it. Naturally, we were drinking Jim and cokes. The drinker we got the more high fives we gave each other during the action parts of the movie. (Guess I should have started with this but this kid is a blonde haired, blue eyed, tanned as fuck gorgeous Texas boy). Eventually, I high five him and he doesn't let me hand go. We sit through the entire rest of the movie holding hands. At the end of the movie, we jump up and he goes to the restroom...I had to go too but waited. He came out of the restroom, stood with our faces inches apart, said "What now?" While smiling...that smile where his eyes were smiling as big as his mouth. I said, "Gotta piss!" I ended up leaving after I got done! (I KNOW!) the next morning I picked him so he could ride to the base with me. At the time, I had a single cab standard Chevy truck. He laid across the seat and put his head in my lap. I awkward shifted gears all the way to the base (22 miles) without touchindg him once (I KNOW!). A week later, while dressing out in our room on base...he says "Oh man, check out my new tat." He turns around, while only wearing boxers, and his manhood is sticking out through the hole. I could tell by the look on his face it wasn't planned but he just laughed and said oops. I NEVER PURSUED ANYTHING WITH HIM...I guess he gave up assuming I wasn't interested. Problem is...I was heads over heels in love with this dude! A second time was when I was big into working out. I was in the gym one night after work and chatted up a guy I was sharing some dumbbells with. I'd seen him a few times and noticed he was a black haired, blue eyed (my favorite look) country boy. That evening, he follows me into the steam room. First time I'd ever been in there with someone. I normally did body weight exercises while in there. I was doing decline push-ups with my feet on the bench and he says, "Damn look at those muscles...makes your butt pop." Then he laughs. I laughed too and then he did decline push-ups. I couldn't do anything but stare at how gorgeous he was. (We were both in boxer briefs). My turn came back around and he put his hand on my back...he could feel my muscles rippling. We finish by both just chilling for a few more minutes and then I left to go shower. I'll never forget, he had a ducks unlimited tat on his left shoulder blade. Years later, I could kick myself in the ass! Problem is...it's not even hours later that I realize these things. It's YEARS later it hits me. Wth is wrong with me? :bang:
Yeah I do that too, not years down the line but way after the moment has past. For me I think it's because I'm not used to that sort of attention so my brain just doesn't register when a guy is hitting on me. I'm also terrified of making the first move. But I'm a firm believer that "what is meant to be will be" you just either have to be patient enough to wait your turn or bold enough to take chances without fear of failure. Sucks cause I'm neither patient nor bold haha
It doesn't seem necessary that a person have high self-esteem to be a law enforcement officer, but self-confidence and presence obviously is a requirement. For example, I'm an Asperger (high-functioning autism, Aspie, etc.) who works as an engineer. A nerd. The type of person who would be disqualified on personality grounds to be a LEO. I'm usually long gone, before I realize that someone was flirting with me. So you and I seem to have a little bit in common--we both seem to be slow on social cues. I think the solution to your dating problem requires just a slight adjustment in your uptake rate of social clues. But...I'm really more interested in whether this social clue thing affects your law enforcement work in ways that take extra effort to overcome. Off topic, I realize, but your post raises the question and I'm interested... P.S.: Thanks for the brand-new noun in the thread title--I'll start using it today. :lol:
Deputy, Remember that it isn't always what is on the outside, to make a lasting relationship you have to find what is special on the inside of a person also. Some of the best looking people I have run across in life have been the biggest jackarses I have ever met. You can't change the past so don't dwell on it but use it to learn. The next time you are in a situation where you are getting hints from a guy kick yourself in the ass and don't let the moment slip by! All you have to do is read some of the profiles on here, including mine, to know you are not alone when it comes to self esteem. It's a hard thing to work on, it took me a long time to start feeling like I was worth something. There are days I'm still not there. Hell I almost ate the barrel of my 870 when I was a young man because I felt so worthless and ashamed of myself. All that being said, I looked at your pictures and I don't see anything wrong with the way you look, at least a 9.1 ! I would rather have a partner that would sit out on a deer stand in the woods under the Oak, Maple, and Walnut trees with me than look like a supermodel unwilling to get his hands dirty. re the wall message...when the guys laugh and joke about being gay you don't always have to laugh with them...cause YOU are no joke! Take Care! Dean
Its okay because I have done it several times myself and although there were times that was very blatant and obvious such as what you've mentioned but there has also been times when I did not grasp what was occurring until later on which makes you have one of those AWWW WTF!!!! moments. As a matter of fact...my last moment just happened last month. This really hot guy that I have met through a friend but it did not occur to me that he was "feeling" me because his behavior was so arrogant and pompous that I just did not give him a thought to be honest. Well...last month..I was at a gay event and he asked me would I dance with him. I was a little surprised but agreed to do so. While we were dancing...he started a conversation that was pretty pleasant and even thrown in some humor. Again..I was startled because whenever I saw him before...he did not say much and acted as if he was God's gift to the world. After dancing with him on several songs...I finally thanked him for the dance and headed over to the bar to get a drink. He joined me and asked me if I would go out on the deck of the ship that the event was held on which had a patio area with patio chairs and dim lights. He started again with pleasant conversation and then he started complaining about how hot it was (the weather) and then he started saying how hot he was which he mentioned several times. Initially in my mind...I somewhat assumed he was making a pass at me...then again...with his character...I just brushed it off and figured he was complaining about the weather. After hanging out for awhile...I went back to join my friends and I thanked him for the dances, the conversation and the time spent with me. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we went our separate ways. It wasn't until on the way home that one of my friends had mentioned that this guy had approached him and was asking about me as if he was interested. He also told me that the guy was flirting with me and wanted to spend alone time with me but it went over my head. While talking with my friend..I was reviewing our time together in my mind and that is when it all came apparent to me what his intentions were. Oh well...it happens...!!!!...lol
Ok, based upon your description, yeah that was pretty oblivious of you. Accept it and move on, and learn from it. It is understandable, though. Being in the closet causes us to hide our feelings and discount what's right in front of our faces. By the way, you are a good looking guy. I know we all think we're not as good looking as we actually are, so if it helps, I find you very attractive. Good luck! ride:
Fuck me do I wish I could have an oppertunity like that but yeah that's pretty oblivious mabye try to be more observant? I dunno
Thanks for the replies! These happened beyond several years ago but came up in a convo with a friend so figured I'd share...see if anyone else had ever been as oblivious. I'm way past them and am celebrating my 2 year anniversary with my bf today in fact. Glad I'm not the only one who has missed those clues before!
Good topic in my opinion to bring to the forum and CONGRATULATIONS on your 2 year anniversary.(!)(!)(!):smilewave:eusa_danc:eusa_danc
