Tom & Jerry and Fred & Barney and Christmas

I hadn't planned for this too turn into a wall of text... <sigh> I guess it is more complicated than I thought.

So, I'm Fred in this one... Barney and I have been together for almost 20 years. We've had our ups and downs but way more good than bad. We've always teased each when we're apart "don't worry, Sven came over" (Sven being our mythical Nordic love god who cleans house, cooks, organizes, knows massage and is unbelievable in the sack). We've also talked about the possibility of a real threesome but nothing ever came of that. In other words, we're an old stable married couple.

Enter Tom & Jerry. Tom and Jerry have been together for about 10 years. I've known Jerry for the last 2 through a community group we both belong to, let's call it the LGBT Underwater Basket Weavers Society, but we'd only been friendly. Good friendly but not like we'd done "friend things" like go out to see a movie or whatever. Tom is, I think, not so good for Jerry but at the same time a lot of the reasons I worry about Tom and Jerry's suitability is stuff that Barney and I went through, and got past, a decade ago. So it could just be that I have no idea what normal couples argue about.

This summer Jerry and I went to the every-so-often Basket Weaving convention. I needed a roommate and we ended up sharing a room with one other guy who was a little creepy/socially-awkward (even more than me). Because of that Jerry said he'd rather share a bed with me (3 people, 2 double beds) BUT that he had to warn me that any time he'd shared a bed with someone he thought was cute that he popped a boner in his sleep and/or cuddled up in the night and he would completely understand if I didn't feel comfortable.

Now mind you, I didn't know he thought I was cute (which was a real ego boost because I don't have a lot of self-confidence) but at the same time I should disclose that I think Jerry is adorable. Leading up to the convention we chatted about a lot of things over text. I told him about my social awkwardness/anxiety (mostly mild) and my worry about not fitting in. We also started to flirt a LOT. Which is natural to me with my friends, I'm not good at making friends but I'm pretty good once I have them.

In "checking in" with Barney before we left I told him I was worried he would have issues with me sleeping with another guy. He told me in no uncertain terms I could do what I wanted and he trusted me BUT that I had to be "safe" if anything did happen.

At the convention everything was great! Jerry and I had a blast. We looked at a lot of baskets, wove some nifty things of our own. He took me out with his friends, showed me how to drink (never learned, see above about social anxiety) and took care of me the night I got plastered (new to drinking). We were up late almost every night just chatting in bed after the other guy went to sleep and those nightly boners happened and the "cuddling" got a little intense. There was a little bit of fooling around and some under clothing groping but nothing got out of hand.

When we got back everything but the fooling around continued. Late night chats, we've gone out and done things, grabbed meals. We at least say hello almost every day on text. We've even couples dated a couple times. He's also inspired me to go back to the gym and to make some healthy life changes both physical health and mental (For example, I'm on a waiting list to see a therapist about my social anxiety). I'm not ashamed to say that in the course of a few months Jerry has become VERY important to me... I've got lots of "little" friends but as far as REAL friends go I've got Barney and Jerry.

For Christmas, I want to get Jerry something to let him know how much he's helped me grow and how much I appreciate his friendship but I have no idea what to do. I know what some of his likes are (part of the reason we bonded post-convention was over shared interests outside of Basket Weaving that neither Barney nor Tom have any interest in) but that doesn't seem to inspire any ideas. I also don't want to set off Tom's jealousy (mild, but there). I also have a constant fear that I'm going to scare off Jerry by revealing too much about how important he is to me.

Any words of wisdom for me? Thanks in advance!

 

I'd love to... A while back I switched to "sexy undies" rather than just plain old boxers, briefs or boxer briefs because they make me feel good (confidence) and they feel good (comfort). Suffice to say, he commented that he liked the way they looked. :eusa_danc

Yeah... He wears standard boxer briefs from what I saw and even if I'm not going to see them I'd love to think he was wearing something sexier. If only because all guys should be wearing sexier undies...

Both good ideas...