My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 10 months now, and there have been two times in our relationship when I have offered him to stay the night with me,(I still love with my parents and so does he) and I've stayed at his house at least 4 times now but he refuses to stay the night with me. He always says, I just don't know what to tell them, and I'm thinking to my self it's not that hard, you're staying the night at a friends house, we're gonna watch movies and just chill, but his excuse is always "yeah but I don't usually do that" and so just because he doesn't usually do that means he can't do it for me? I really want him too but he just refuses and he asked me if I'm mad at him just this last time and I said yeah I am. Because I am, it doesn't make sense I've asked hi if he thinks my house is dirty if it's something against me and he always Denys it and says no that he wants to to come over but he just always say "I just don't know what to tell my parents" that's always his go to excuse and I can give him excuse after excuse but he still doesn't like it.
Sounds to me like he has some kind of problem. Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe he isn't comfortable with something in your house. For example, my ex would rather not sleep over at my house because I have a twin bed and it's really uncomfortable for 2 people to sleep in it. However, he has a queen sized bed so it's was much better if I spent the night at his instead of the other way around. Just ask him to be honest, he can't have the same old excuse all the time. There has to be a specific reason why he's not staying the night at your place specifically. Sorry to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure he has some sort of problem with your house, family, etc.
Does both your parents and his parents know you guys are gay? If not maybe his worried about his parents finding out and I can say sometimes people do strange things like some might feel it's totally safe for there boyfriend to come over but when they go to there boyfriends place they get scared and makes them super worried. You would think it's strange since if they are so worried why would they let you be with them in there home in the first place if they are worried but it could just be how he thinks and feels. Or he could be worried about your parents would find out and then he would lose you or something. Also he might be the type that doesn't like to lie to his parents. Or it could be his not comfortable leaving his home and being at a new place to spend the night. He could be a nervous type guy. I know if I' am at a new place I get nervous a lot. But I need more details about him and you to really understand or maybe others might know more.
To Robishere I understand that completely and if he had a problem with something I've told him to tell me and I won't get mad but he uses the same excuse every single time. To Dallas Pikachu, I can understand not lying to his parents but yes my parents know I'm gay and his parents kind of know, he's been to my house numerous times and have taken naps he's been there until 3:00 in the morning he's no stranger to my house.
Interesting have you noticed in the past few weeks or months if he has not come see you as much anymore or want to see you as much as before? Or does he still treat you the same as before? Depending on this the answers could be different to what I' am thinking. I just wondered if you see any sign that is different now than before like his behavior patterns or so?
I remember my third boyfriend had moved back in with his mom after his dad passed away and she was alone in this really big house and this happened before he and I even knew each other. The thing is that he always wanted me to spend the night or the weekend and honestly...I felt very uncomfortable with being there out of respect to his mother even though she knew he was gay. Since he was from a huge family (16 brothers and sisters) there were times that they would have dinner parties or card games and some of his siblings would stay the night which made me feel even more uncomfortable about staying the night although they too knew of him being gay. It was just the principle for me I guess. However, I remember telling him that I would come over and visit but I will not spend the night anymore and I explained to him why. I could not invite him to stay at my place because at that time one of my older siblings and I had shared a place and she was very homophobic to say the least. To my surprise one evening I received a call from his mom asking me why I do not spend the night anymore? When I explained to her that I had decided not to out of respect for her and she assured me that because it was me and that she really liked me a lot as well as the rest of her family that she approved of me spending the night or weekends. So..the reason I shared this story is that perhaps your boyfriend is having the same problem as I had with spending the night at your parents' house where as it is more accepting at his parents' home.
Well actually I thought originally that when he said that both parents accept them and they been to each others home often but now doesn't want to spend the night anymore and make excuses so I assumed that maybe his boyfriend doesn't want to admit that he lost interest in him. I thought there was a red flag here if what I said was true about assuming that there were different behavior patterns and how much he would lets say call him or see him. If his boyfriend didn't see him much as use to or call or anything that's usually a red sign. At least with my history of 6 guys I dated before. One of mine lasted 8 years but others were not that long. All did in a way have a similar pattern before brake up. There may be different reasons or cases or how it was done but all similar. I just hope for this guy it isn't the same as me. ---------- Post added 12th Nov 2016 at 03:44 PM ---------- I guess when he said his boyfriends parents kinda know his gay meaning they know so I assumed they accepted since if they didn't they would be telling him right away but it could be that maybe his parents told him that he can't go see his boyfriend anymore since his parents are upset his gay. I really don't know but I just need to know more info on the history of the two guys to really get more details. I just hope his boyfriend still loves him though and I am totally wrong about his boyfriend lost interest.
Your scenario is also a good observation of what has been displayed for the readers of this post as well. I actually thought about this guy may have other interest and is ready to move on. However, I thought I would give another scenario to think upon because just like you guys...I do think that there is a possibility that more of this story would give it a complete understanding as what direction the responses can be more helpful especially if what you have mentioned about being interested in someone else is a truthful fact. I was just using my personal perspective on this topic because mine was somewhat similar but it wasn't because I had other interest. I was just uncomfortable out of respect for my elders.
