I wrote a giant post about everything that's happened to me so far, and my internet/this site crashed just as I was about to post it. Fooey. Oh well. To make a long story short, I have a bi friend who I've known for a couple of months, but who I really haven't gotten very close with until recently. We were in a one act play together, and during our tech week, people were apparently noticing our "sexual tension". I find that hilarious since I'm a virgin, but whatever. I ended up spending the night in her dorm at one point, but nothing actually happened, we both immediately went to sleep (separate beds I might add). Nonetheless, there are signs that she likes me. Whenever I'd lay down next to her in a flirty kind of way, she always responded positively. She'd put her head against mine and never seemed to mind. Then, during Truth or Dare (when I wasn't playing), my friend asked her who she has the most sexual attraction to in our cast. After explaining she has a low libido, etc., she says my name. I'm embarrassed, but at the same time, really excited. I've already made the decision to ask her out on a date and see how it goes. The worst is that she'll say no, right? I'm just trying to figure out exactly how to bring it up and how to phrase it. I don't want to lose her as a friend if she says no. But at the same time, I don't want to start off by saying something like "If I tell you something will you promise not to suddenly leave me as a friend?" because that'll just cause needless anxiety. I was also thinking of bringing up the Truth or Dare thing and asking if she meant it, but idk how well that would work. Any ideas? I know I sound socially inept right now, and I kind of am. I haven't been in this situation before.
Anyone who says that sort of thing out loud is probably thinking "OK, I made that pretty clear, why isn't she taking the next step?" The other signs are good too. You must not be totally inept because you know that starting out with "If I tell you something..." would be a bad start. Even bringing up her Truth or Dare would be shaky. Ask her to go for coffee/soda/brunch, or just "hanging out". (Great all-purpose non-threatening phrase.) Then when you're hanging out, you could asks her about the Truth or Dare. Of course by then you'll be having butterflies etc. Good luck!
I tend to be really honest in this situation. I would just ask to go get coffee or something and say hey so I think you're really sweet she attractive,I know you once said something about liking me. Was that true? Don't skirt around it. There's only so bad somebody can react to you being interested in them.
Haha, good to know I'm not too socially inept. We've actually been struggling to make plans to hang out, so we do really want to see each other. I don't think she's been this adamant about hanging out with anybody else in our cast, but maybe that's just the way she is?? I don't know. I also planned on doing it before she left from wherever we were hanging out, just in case she does say no, so we don't have to awkwardly sit around pretending nothing happened. That way I could have some time and space to get over the "she's not into you" feeling and then keep up the friendship the next day.
To tell you the truth, you sound rather socially skilled. I think you should practice your skills more.
I say just ask her! The last time I asked out someone who I was friends with first I just went ahead and said hey next time we go out, can it be like a date? She said yes! We eventually got engaged. So, it worked! We won't talk about what happened eventually, though as long as you don't end up liking men more, you should be safe! Haha. Good luck! And remember (cheesy advice in 3 2 1) you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
It's funny because when you're already friends with someone you asking them out won't necessarily translate into you liking them because they may just be thinking you're hanging out as friends like always. I was in this same situation and I just eventually told him point blank that I like him. He did not reciprocate, but he was flattered, and our friendship continued after that. He's an idiot, but that's a whole other story good luck!
I don't know if anybody is still following this thread, but I wanted to give an update. I ended up getting up the nerve to ask her out. We're both doing crew for a show right now, and it's tech week, so we're spending most of our evenings at the theater. We were just hanging out during the show since we have nothing to do, just talking and giggling. Finally there was a five minute break, and I said I had a question. I started it off by saying "You're more than welcome to say no," and then asked if she wanted to go on a date sometime. SHE SAID YES. (!):eusa_danc:icon_bigg I was literally so surprised because I had been so worried. But she was excited too and now we're just planning on where to go. It'll have to be once tech week is done since we're both stuck there, but we just know that there will be a date in the future. She even texted me today to say she's excited and brainstorming ideas!! So thank you guys so much for helping me out and being so supportive!
