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One of my closest friends is my chem professor

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by choirsmash, Nov 21, 2016.

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  1. choirsmash

    choirsmash
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    Hello friends, I haven't posted in here in a long time but this was the only forum I could think of to ask this question. So, one of my closest, best friends is actually my chemistry professor/undergrad advisor. We are literally like the exact same person. We're super close, he's offered to drive me to therapy sessions (ADHD) and stuff like that. He's given me the best advice (mostly relating my life to The Big Lebowski, the Dude abides). We've just gotten really close over the course of the semester. We're even working on planning a trip for climbing out near where I live with some of my climbing friends from high school. Is this a weird sort of friendship to have? I mean it's purely platonic, like he's happily married with 3 kids. We're just close friends. I still just feel like some people think that's weird..
     
    #1 choirsmash, Nov 21, 2016
  2. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey choirsmash,

    From what you wrote, you don't have a crush on him, but he's a really great friend (one of your closest, best friends, as you describe him). I would say that people connect with whomever they connect. When age difference are involved, it's often more a mentor-student relationship (non-academically speaking).

    In this case, the only weird or uncomfortable thing might be if you ever had him again as an instructor or he was in a position to influence your grades in an unethical manner - even in appearance, if not actual fact. That could be a problem.

    Other than that, who cares what other people 'think.' If both of you are happy with your friendship (and hopefully you also know and are on good terms with his wife and kids), the I don't see an issue.

    Just my thoughts.:slight_smile:
     
    #2 Quantumreality, Nov 21, 2016
  3. choirsmash

    choirsmash
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    The issue I guess is that I will most definitely have him again in the future for at least 2 classes. He's a pretty trusted professor though, it's well known that he doesn't break the rules like that..
     
    #3 choirsmash, Nov 21, 2016
  4. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    THAT is a problem. Just the appearance of impropriety (i.e. being friends with a student in one of his classes) can and most likely will create ethical issues for him. Is there any way you can take those classes under another instructor?
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Nov 21, 2016
  5. choirsmash

    choirsmash
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    He's the only one teaching those, they're very specialized classes. I dunno maybe my university isn't that weird about stuff like that because it's not unusual to go out to lunch and stuff with our profs. Like some invite students over for dinner and stuff like that
     
    #5 choirsmash, Nov 22, 2016
  6. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey choirsmash,

    I'd say that this is something that you should discuss with him then. Most schools have strict rules about instructor-student relations mainly to prevent favoritism and/or charges fo favoritism. If any other students even report to the Head of the Department or the overall school Administration that they think that you were getting favored treatment by him, he could be in deep trouble. (Students are usually assumed to be victims in cases like this.) So this is definitely something that the two of you should address. If he's fine with it and isn't concerned, then you have nothing more to worry about. But I would think that he'd at least be touched that you are concerned about him enough to bring the subject up to him.

    I don't know if that helps...

    Take Care.:slight_smile:
     
    #6 Quantumreality, Nov 22, 2016
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