Hey guys, I am a gay 17 year old boy living in Turkey. So I met a guy from online and, as you can understand from the title, he is 24 year old. I had a strict rule to not have a long-term relationship with anyone above 21. We still didn't go for a date, so it is still too early to consider a long-term relationship, but I just wonder my lovely queer friends' opinions on this. Is it okay for a 17 yo to date a 24 yo? I have two months to become 18, so I am not asking of the legal aspect, but more of your experiences and your ethical choices on this.
In my experience, relationships between young people with a big age gap haven't gone too well; part of that is not just maturity, but a difference in life situation. (For instance, there's sometimes a big difference in what a working person past college and a high school student want out of life and relationships, and that difference can cause problems.) This is just a caution, though; I've also known some of these relationships to work. Like johndeere3020 says, just be sure you do it for the right reasons! If it turns into a longer-term relationship, it should be because you actually like him for who he is and not because you feel like you need a relationship right now. But these are all things you probably know already. Good luck! And be safe!
Renard is correct in urging caution with age gaps while you are very young. Even a gap of a year or two can be significant. Beyond the mid-twenties things seem to even out and age gaps become less of an issue.
If you had a strict rule about this, you obviously came to that decision for a reason. Either you thought it wouldn't work or that it would never happen. Chances are if you thought it was a bad idea before, it is still a bad idea. While the relationship may work, especially if there is physical attraction, as other posters have said, he may be ready for things in life much sooner than you will be. If it does work, even for a couple years, he may be ready at 26-27 to start settling down with a job and a house and a family. Is this something you want to be responsible for at 20 years old? If you think long and hard and the answer is yes, then maybe its worth exploring, but these are big issues that can be a deal breaker in relationships. There is nothing wrong with getting to know the person to figure out if it may work, but be prepared for this down the road should it be something you decide to pursue.
Isn't the age of consent 18 in Turkey? You might want to be careful. The age of consent where I'm from, is 16. So, when I was 16, I dated a 24-year-old. At first, things were amazing. But as time went by, she became VERY possessive and domineering. I like domineering qualities in a partner, but she was so possessive and strict that I felt like she was my mother half of the time. She would set rules for me, give me a curfew, and she even wouldn't let me hang out with some of my friends. I'm pretty sure this was just her being extremely insecure, but she would always use my age against me as if I didn't know any better. If the guy acts younger than he is, I guess it would be ok to give it a shot. Just be careful.
Depends on the situation. I dated a 17 year old when I was 20, and yes it was legal because the age of consent in my state is 17. It worked out fine because I was very emotionally immature for my age due to a disability. If anything, she was more dominant and mature than I was and viewed me almost like a younger sister to care for. We never slept together though, so I can't say on that part. She eventually dated someone else.
