Fed Up With Family Members Backstabbing and Deceit

Hey Guys:

I've contemplated on posting this on the forum but since my phone records show an abundant amount of calls over the past two days from an older sibling who is a manipulator and likes to advantage of you for her own good. I decided to go ahead and post this thread. Ever since I came out as a gay man...my family had always displayed consistent abandonment towards me unless they wanted something from me or wanted me to do them a favor. After awhile...I came to realize that although my intentions were genuine in order to create a bond...unfortunately...their intent was not.

I had mentioned in an earlier post about how the only sibling that I had a connection with had gotten upset at me because I would not move into a house with two siblings that I do not get along with and have confronted me in regards to their not wanting anything to do with me because I am a gay man who they find to be an embarrassment to the family. Nonetheless..once I declined and stood my ground against her confrontation towards me about them...she lashed out on me as well and from there ...she stopped all contact with me since that conversation which as been about three months now as opposed to contacting me on a daily basis because I was the only member of the family who did not supported her genuinely and had her best interest at heart no matter what.

The older sibling whom I've mentioned at the beginning of the post got upset at me about the same siblings six months ago and since then...I had not heard from her. However, over the past couple of days..she has been calling me but do not leave a message until this morning where she had just mentioned she wanted to see how I was doing. I know from past experiences with her that she never contacts me to see if I am okay. She will always have a hidden agenda which is never a good thing for me.

There is more details to this situation but I am just going to write on the above mentioned matter. After dealing with all of this unnecessary drama over the past six months and being ridiculed for not giving in to their motives..I began to reflect on the family situation as a whole and came to realize that I am not gaining anything by trying to maintain some type of bond or connection with them because they are never there for me no matter what I may be going through for years and now that I am accepting of their behavior towards me..I have decided to not return or respond to any of their calls anymore. What always bothered me was that no matter what they endured with each other...they are always supportive for each other no matter what. However, with me...its a different story...I am left to deal with whatever I am going through by myself with no support from them at all. I just feel that if they can stop all contact with me for over a substantial length of time then let it stay the way it is as far as I am concern and I wish them well. Its just apparent to me that they are all full of drama and b.s. and since the only sibling that I cared for had went against me to maintain a relationship with the other siblings whom by the way that she always complained about their behavior towards her...then that was like the final straw so to speak for me and I am comfortable with that decision. Besides...since I have been through this abandonment with them before...I can live my life without them and be satisfied with doing so.

With that being said..I bring this to the forum. So...what do you think of my decision? Thanking you in advance for responding and reading this. JS

 

Thank you so much AlmostBlue for responding. This treatment has been going on since I came out at 19 years old and now I am 38. So as you can tell...its been a long journey for me. There have been situations that I've endured from family that had caused me to keep my distance for years on end. Therefore, I have and can survive without them in my life as I have proven several times. Now...I am numb and beginning to feel the bitterness seep in that I have had years ago against them. Since I came to realize that no matter what I have gone through...I have never gotten their support on nothing. So...its easy for me to walk away and be done. Thanks again...I really appreciate your response...JS

 

My doctor told me last week that as long as he has known me that one of the things that he admires about me is how resilient I am because I have endured a lot and yet he is amazed that somehow I always over come them. I just want to thank you once again AlmostBlue for your response to my post. I don't post a lot on this forum but I am always responding to a lot of people on here. However, this is one time that I was looking for someone to respond and give me some advice. I thank you so much for doing so. I know eventually, I will get through this as I have gotten through everything else that has been unfortunate. Take care...JS