I'll call this girl Lauren for convenience. I met her last year. We got along pretty well and she's my only LGBT friend in my area. Because it's a conservative country at where I live in, I needed a company like her to understand gayish things I tell her. There was this one time when she took advantage of me. She asked me to work on a project together. It required translating things into another language and presenting it. I obviously thought she had enough skills to take on this project together. But turns out, she didn't know much about the language and she made me do all the work, saying that she "can't figure it out". The teacher noticed that something was wrong regarding the project. I told her everything and she decided to kick her out of the project, after hearing what Lauren had to say as well. What Lauren said was that she was busy with some other work(same goes for everyone duh) and the project wasn't something she had expected. She later apologized to me and we made up. Since that time, I worried that she might take advantage of me again. Nothing happened several months later. thinking that she might be a good person after all, I decided to share personal things like my huge crush and family issues. She shared quite a bit of hers too. She opted out the things that people say about her. Later I found out that Lauren had a bad reputation among my peers. When she was in grade school, she wrote fictions using the full names of people without asking each of then. (I think that's rude right? I'd be freaked out if my name was in her story.) Also she's known to have complicated personality. My other friend and my crush hates her for these reasons. Lauren has a volatile personality and is moody. I felt that she treats me like a backup person to hang out with. When she sees me face to face, she acts like my sister. When I text her she sends one word answers. She raaarely texts me first. With her other friends, she texts them all the time when I hang out with her and sends much longer texts. I think she sees me when she has no one to talk to. When I told my older cousin about the things I've heard, things she did in the past and what people say about Lauren, she told me to keep away from her. She thinks that she might really screw me over sooner or later. This other time, Lauren paid for two popcorns using her movie coupon. She made me split the bills evenly with her and her friend although I had only eaten a handful of them. Around 1/10 to be exact,amount of popcorns in two bags combined. After I told her that had none compared to her and her friend, I owed her much less money. Ik this is something not hugely offending, it did made me go 'wtf'? She lied to me before. Lauren told me that she had came out to one of friends but my friend knew nothing about it. There was no point in Lauren to lie about it. I'm skeptical about the things she tells me now. Recently she told me that she was going to kill herself because noone seems to like her. I begged her to not to do anything for a couple of hours. Seeing me react like that, she noticed that I was nearly crying and begged me to stop. After a couple of hours, she acted like nothing happened. Lauren and I had been close. I trusted her to hear my personal stories and she told me hers. I was quite disappointed in her in the past, and although I forgave her, I still worry that she might take advantage of me again. Everyone thinks she's bad news, and although I (had) like(d) her as a person, she disappoints me from time to time. I understand that nobody is going to be good all the time. Maybe she trusts in me or maybe she thinks I'm here to screw her over, as she thinks about in other people. I have no idea what's going on in her head and what she thinks of me. Right now, I try to be nice to her but I see her less often. If I were to walk away from her, I would have to be extremely careful not to hurt her feelings because she might out me to everyone. It's not impossible for her to go that far if she's angry enough. She has aother friend she can trust(she told me the name of him). She finds me easy and available and I felt used often in the past. But I don't like the idea of betraying someone. She is the only gay person I know. Also I really wouldn't let someone die just because I feel uncomfortable around them. What should I do? ---------- Post added 25th Nov 2016 at 07:11 PM ---------- I might've sounded emotionally charged. So i let things build up to this point until I feel overwhlemed by keeping her as a friend. Since everyone tells me to be careful around her, this adds to my frustration. ---------- Post added 25th Nov 2016 at 07:15 PM ---------- Also, about what she did in middle school, I first thought that everyone could make mistakes.
Ditch her. I used to have a friend who would almost be like that, except he wasn't LGBT and I didn't know my real sexuality at the moment. He'd always be rude and weird to me, and then be nice periodically, etc. I had no idea what would go on in his head either. One day he'd go against everything I'd say and call me names, another day he'd want to have a serious talk about video games. He basically knew how to fake a friendship, and it kinda seems what your friend is doing right there (at least when she has nobody else to talk to). I haven't seen him since June (I'm in grade 9), so he's long gone, hopefully. Those people are not worth keeping as friends if they're overwhelming you. In my opinion you should ditch her.
She hasn't done anything necessarily bad to me and I feel horrible because I talked behind her back. I'm not usually a gossipping type. Maybe she didn't mean to treat me like an option. Recently she was being nicer and acted like she cared about me. I feel guilty for that. Lauren has noticed that I changed my behavior around her and she isn't happy about it.
