Im a 17 year old guy and Im in love with my straight best friend. I don't know if I desire him sexually, this is going to be so confusing I have to start from the beginning. My best friend, for the sake of this post John is the hottest kid in the school everyone is obsessed with him even in different school districts, and so was I. Before I knew him I found him so hot and would on occasion pleasure myself to the thought of him however no other guy has ever done that for me I tried gay porn and nothing even celebrities or other kids in my school. It was only ever him we were on the same sports teams and would occasionally text like acquaintances not even really friends yet but we roomed together on a school trip out of the country and became very close. Since then I have seen him completely naked a million times and it doesnt phase me I notice it obviously but its not a turn on. We text every single day and spend hours together no matter what day of the week. I am completely in love with him but Im not sure if it is in a friend/brotherly way? Ik only I can answer these questions but I am not sexually attracted to him but if he asked I would get on my knees for him no questions asked just because he asked. I would do anything for him, a side note about me I have had many girlfriends and enjoy straight sex, gay sex doesnt get me hard at all. I think I am enamored with who he is, physique and the popularity he has, both of which I lack. We have been there for each other a million times over and yet he has just gotten a girlfriend and I am jealous of her, I don't want to be in a relationship with him he is a douchebag to girls and very very womanizingly straight and I think Im curious but again only for him maybe I am straight with tendencies idk. Can someone please give me advice on about these feelings and if they mean something more also Id never act on anything with him.
Hi Imsoc, I'm just going to give you some thoughts, I'm not telling that this is the way your feel. So romantic and sexual attraction can be different, we can be sexually attracted to one person but not romantically. It sounds like you are romantically attracted to him but not sexually. However, it is unclear as you say you aren't sexually attracted to guys yet wouldn't rule it out if he approached you about it. From your post it sounds like you are asking if you might be gay or bisexual because of your feelings for him but it is not necessarily so clear cut. Have you felt about girls the way you feel about him? Do you two spend time together alone? Do you spend more time with him than with other people? So I'm not trying to get you to read too much into his behaviour rather it's just about how you feel about him in comparison to other people. Hope this helps and feel free not to answer but writing things out can help clarify our thoughts.
Hey Imsoc, To just add a little to Barbatus' comments and questions, what do you mean when you say that you're "in love with your straight best friend," but "don't desire him sexually." What is your concept of love/romance versus just a really close friendship and admiration for another person?
