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Mom says I can't be bisexual since I have had sex yet?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by invertedJohn, Nov 28, 2016.

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  1. invertedJohn

    invertedJohn
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    Today, I was feeling confident and decided to come out to my mother as bisexual. I sat down with my mom, and it took me 15 minutes to put it into words, but at the end I said "I'm bisexual"
    Now at first she took a deep breath and told me "You can't be sure if you're attraced to males or females until you have sex" I then tried to explain to my mom that there is a big difference between me being attracted to someone and having sex with someone. I also told her that you can know who you're attracted to without sex being involved. She blew me off and that was the end of the conversation. I'm kind of upset with my mom's reaction. I thought she would of been more accepting of the LGBT community when she has a sister who's lesbian. I feel like my mom boils all relationships down to sex.

    Was my mom right? Can you only figure out your sexuality if you have sex with someone?
    I highly doubt that, but I just want an answer that isn't out of this world like my moms response.

    PS: Sorry about any grammar and/or spelling mistakes. I typed this on a small phone screen because I needed to vent this out.

    ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2016 at 08:49 PM ----------

    Messed up on the title lol
    Its suppose to be haven't
     
    #1 invertedJohn, Nov 28, 2016
  2. resu

    resu
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    You don't need to have sex to know your sexuality. I knew I was gay when I was a teenager, but I never came out, had sex, or even dated until recent years.

    Unfortunately, even having LGBT relatives is not enough for people to avoid the ignorance of homophobia. You could ask your mom how she knew she was heterosexual before she had sex...
     
    #2 resu, Nov 28, 2016
  3. Astrocyte

    Astrocyte
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    My parents said the same thing when I came out as gay, but that was because the whole concept of homosexuality was very foreign to them. Over time, they got much better at understanding. However, in your case, I would've thought your mother may have responded better given her sister is a lesbian. I don't think all hope is lost though - you may just need to work on her a little bit, like I did back at the time. Sometimes it just takes people a while to understand what's going on, and I have a feeling that's what's going on here. Just keep talking about it and explaining it to her. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Astrocyte, Nov 28, 2016
  4. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey invertedJohn,

    Can you talk to your Aunt (your mom's sister who happens to be a lesbian) and see if she can try to explain it to your mom? (Assuming that you are either Out to your Aunt or a willing to Come Out to her, of course.)
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Nov 28, 2016
  5. ghostly

    ghostly
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    Well, your mom is definitely wrong.
     
    #5 ghostly, Nov 29, 2016
  6. robclem21

    robclem21
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    You should ask her if she has ever had sex with a woman and then tell her she can't know she's straight until she tries it...

    *don't do that*
     
    #6 robclem21, Nov 29, 2016
  7. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    This is a statement that is ONLY directed at LGBT people. Nobody tells a straight person they need to have sex with both genders to know. Hell, some people assume CHILDREN are heterosexual.
     
    #7 Creativemind, Nov 29, 2016
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