What can I do to get involved with the LGBT+ community?

I've accepted my sexuality and have come out (or will come out imminently) to the people who matter most in my life. Thankfully, all is okay in that respect. I can't say I'm a very lonely person - I have a relatively small friendship group but we're very close and I couldn't ask for better friends. However, I am struggling to extend myself and reach out to other LGBT+ people.

I'm someone who has always focused on trying to be me, rather than anyone else. In a way, I feel that's holding me back from meeting other LGBT+ people. I'm very content making friends as I go about my daily business, and I tell myself that it's more important to have good friends than make okay friends who happen to be gay. I also struggle finding the confidence to join social groups; LGBT+ support groups is an even greater struggle. I'm not into clubbing so a common suggestion is to find some LGBT+ interest group. However, then I find myself making the excuse that if I want to do interest x, why do I need to join an LGBT+ group about it? I feel one big hurdle is that in my observances I've noticed a lot of the members of these groups are really out there with their sexuality, whereas I'm not. I'm ashamed to think that this is impacting me. I'm really encouraging myself to get over that, but I'm not succeeding very well. This is despite first-hand experience learning not to judge a book by its cover: I took a subject that attracts LGBT+ students this year and I initially was intimidated or put off by some members of the crowd, but towards the end I got to know a couple of them and they were really nice people.

I joined Empty Closets as a first step in reaching out and I have to say that I feel very comfortable and welcome here. I just don't know how I can translate this into real life results. I feel as if I know exactly why I'm not doing anything, yet I'm lacking the motivation to make a change. At this point, I'm turning to the internet and looking in the wrong sorts of places to connect with people. I'm even becoming tempted to download the gay apps, despite knowing that's not really what I'm after. Do I just need to push ahead, and try to fake not being a nervous wreck, without necessarily feeling as if I'm 100% committed? I felt like this when coming out, and in all honesty, while it was really difficult in the short term, I'm so glad I did it now that I can see the long term outcomes. Alternatively, should I just stop trying to force things, and go with the flow? Maybe I'll get to a point where I will feel more motivated, even though I feel somewhat limited now. This is one of those difficult cases where I know the problem, and I know I want to address the problem, but I don't know how I can make myself actually want to perform the steps necessary in order to solve the problem. Any help would be really appreciated. Thanks.

 

Bump... I'd really appreciate some help with this... :/

 

Thanks so much for the reply! I'm at university and there is an LGBT+ support group available. I've just been too scared to approach it. Perhaps I should do that thing where I just pretend and fake my confidence for five minutes and go in, and if it's not working out I leave. Ultimately I think it's just a matter of finding the courage to break the ice. Thank you!

Aww, thanks so much for reaching out to me! (*hug*) Please let me know how it goes, and don't hesitate to contact me to discuss how you're feeling anyway.

 

Hello again. I have to admit that an outdoors group would not be my cup of tea, but thanks for the suggestion! One thing I really need to work on is to stop making excuses whenever I come across an LGBT+ interest group. For example, I like playing badminton, and my city has an LGBT+ badminton group, but I keep telling myself I could just play with my friends, or that the age group might not be right. Ultimately, I need to muster the courage at least to make some enquiries or something. :S The problem is that I find the whole signing up for clubs and groups daunting in general. It would help if I had a friend who would be willing to join me for moral support, but I don't know anyone in real life who is gay (other than like a distant acquaintance). It's a bit of a vicious cycle but I basically need to channel my disconnectedness and try to use its energy to motivate me.