1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

This guy

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Will the thrill, Dec 1, 2016.

  1. Will the thrill

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm a sophomore he's a freshman. I've been casually lowkey flirting with him in my metal shop class since the year started he smiles at me and I think I might have caught him staring, and I don't know how to proceed from here. I'm not sure if he's gay but it would be no surprise to me if he was. Does any have any advice on how to take this to the next level without risking embarrassment?
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Will the thrill,

    First, be careful, for your own sake not to read too much into things. When we have a crush on someone, we tend to interpret every little detail that we notice about them (many of which they don't consciously make) as positive or negative reasons to think that they are interested in us. This totally applies to ANYONE across the spectrum of sexuality.

    So, you said he smiles at you and stares. Totally cool. He seems to like you, but does he like you as a potential friend or, as you seem to hope, as a potential bf?

    You don't know if he's gay or even bi. And it would be inappropriate to ask at this point for multiple reasons, which I think you can understand (but ask me, if you have questions - there are no stupid questions). So how do you approach him? As a friend, of course. If the two of you don't have enough in common to be good friends, there is no real prospect for a real, long-term relationship. Whether that is as friends or bfs. It kinda doesn't matter at this point, does it? (I mean, seriously, if you just want a quick f*ck, that's one thing, but I don't think that that is what you are asking about here, is it?)

    So, why not see if you can just become friends with him and start hanging out outside of school? After a while you will almost certainly get a sense as to (1) whether or not there is a real romantic possibility between the two of you and (2) whether or not he's even the type of person you would WANT to have a romantic relationship with. All things being equal, in real life a physical attraction and having sex with them just doesn't compare to having a close, romantic relationship, IMO. But, you're young and you'll have to have your own experiences in life.:slight_smile:
     
  3. Will the thrill

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Quantam reality,

    Thanks for the advice, I do have one more issue though. So I've been talking to this other who I have a lot in common with I think it might go somewhere with. We'eve discussed a possible future with each other. The problem is I flirt with every guy that gives me the right vibe. I feel that I'm very directionless right now, any suggestions?
     
  4. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Why do you think you flirt with every guy that 'gives you the right vibe' like that?

    Do you think that if you find a bf that you'll be able to rein in that behavior?

    It sounds like you might just need to build some self confidence/self esteem. Have you considered getting a little counseling to help you out with this?
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Dec 2, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
  5. oboe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2016
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KC
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm a junior too so maybe I can offer a more relatable perspective.

    The first step is to become friends first and just hang out like you would with all your other friends. See how things go then if it feels right - ask him out on an actual date to make it "official." If you're not sure about his sexuality, get to know him first, become good friends and ask it in a non-threatening way like "Would you ever date another guy?"

    A lot of straight guys give me that "vibe too." This particular guy I know definitely gave off that vibe but he ended up being straight. He would hug me during class, offer me his coffee, give me back massages, hold my hand when we walk and says "I love you" all the time. I thought it was a pretty good indication he was gay and interested but nope - he turned out to be straight and he said no when I asked him out on a "date." Regardless, because we already established a friendship - everything was okay. We're still close friends, just not romantically involved.
     
  6. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
  7. Will the thrill

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks everyone for all the help, what I think I'm going to do is see where it goes with a guy I'm already kinda involved with instead of just chasing guys. I really need to break that habit. I'm too flirtatious for my own good.
     
  8. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ultimately, Will the thrill, you have to be you. But, unfortunately, sometimes you have to 'check yourself at the door' in order to get further ahead in society that we live in. Only you can decide what balance you wish to live with.

    Just some thoughts.:slight_smile: