Hi everyone, So, my long distance bf broke it off with me last week - devo'd to say the least. We were really close, we had so much in common, and I had even planned to move to the city to be with him (he is about 900kms away). He would text me sweet things all the time, we skyped a lot etc. then over the period of a few days I noticed him being distant.. and I hate playing games so I just asked him straight up what was wrong. And he basically said that he really liked me, and appreciates me as a person and we have a lot in common, but he realised it's not enough for him to be in a relationship (I was his first bf so yeah). We ended on good terms and he wants to be friends, but aren't talking as I said I need some space and not contact him for a while. I said I would want to be his friend, but now I don't even know if I could do that. Not for a long while anyway. It just seemed so easy for him to let me go, and it hurts. I'm really sorry about this rant, I live in the middle of no where and don't really have anyone here to talk to about this stuff.. so I would really appreciate any input as I just can't seem to understand what happened, and even though I haven't contacted him, I can't stop thinking about him. Thanks for reading I appreciate it a lot!
Hi, I just want to say this sounds pretty painful. I'm not really qualified to answer this, but I'd say if being around him makes you uncomfortable, he should understand, and it sounds like he will. I think you should just keep your distance, let the cards fall as they will. Good luck!-Asking
Dreamers, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I remember (still) from years ago a long distance relationship I had with a guy in Adelaide, while I was in college in the US. I felt so connected and so much in love, and then he left. I never found out exactly why and it was hard to accept. Not just for the loss, but for not being able to understand why. I think you're wise to spend some time apart to let yourself heal, and you may need a significant amount of time. I once read that grief can take about half as long as the original relationship, although for some more, for some less. You might want to read about the stages of grief. For myself, I always ask myself what I did wrong, or how I could have avoided mistakes that might have affected the relationship. The truth is that this was beyond your control, and there is likely nothing you could or should have done differently. In time you may even be able to feel fortunate for the relationship that was. Each relationship I've been in has left a unique feeling; as unique as the men themselves. Whether the relationship was deep or not, each of those people was a gift that I appreciate. My only advice is to be very kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space to you need to grieve. Eat well, get lots of sleep, exercise, yadda yadda yadda. You'll never find someone exactly like him, nor should you, and that's why you're hurting. Don't try to avoid the pain, but just let it be and it will subside. You will love again. Until then, please accept my love! *warm hugs from Seattle* Patrick
Thank you both for your replies.. I really appreciate it. I keep getting really down about it and have to remind myself it's over. I'm tempted to text him a lot but haven't yet. I know there's no point, he's obviously made his mind up. Patrick, your reply resonates with me so well - it's exactly how I feel right now.. and I guess I needed the reminder to look after myself. And I'm definitely questioning what I could have done differently, etc. Need to stop dwelling on it.. and I'll definitely look into the stages of grief. And you're so right in saying the reason it hurts is because I'll never find someone like him again. In my mind he was perfect. Thanks again so much.. it really helped! If anyone else is reading this, I'd love to hear your thoughts
