Conflicted about dating someone with a disability

All depends on where in the spectrum, of course. Red or violet (to use a metaphor) can be very different.

Based on your interactions so far, it sounds like her disability is sort of like having bad eyesight: it gets in the way, but with understanding it can be worked around. Do your online research and remember that in any relationship you have to be empathetic. It may be that you have to explain yourself more, and not count on her "just getting it" the way others might.

The fact that she brought this up means she trusts you and doesn't want you to be put off by misunderstandings. I'd call that a good sign. She may be able to teach you things about yourself. I think you should go on a date!

 

It depends where on the spectrum they are. People with autism can be high functioning, but have issues with socializing or sensory integration. With very low functioning cases (can't talk, in diapers), it would be iffy, but it doesn't sound like the case.

I am also autistic and I prefer to date people younger than me. Well, unless an older partner is on the spectrum as well. It's simply because I am behind in a lot of adult things due to my disability, so it feels more balanced with younger neurotypical people. I wouldn't say It's somehow unethical or anything though, you just need to read up about the needs of ASD people.

 

If you find her disability as not being a huge issue with you although you have that concern then perhaps you should just have an open conversation with her in regards to those concerns and see what she has to say and let her express her views/opinions on it. I just feel that communication openly will resolve any confusion or conflict in regards to misunderstandings. I also tend to believe that if you have came thus far with your relationship with her then apparently to me there's a good possibility to work around or resolve the matter as a whole. Good Luck!!!

 

I don't know this situation very well, but from what you said, you're more worrying about the "what if" than the reality... Don't worry so much, but instead calmly figure out how to work with her, if you are still up for a relationship with her. Some of the most attractive people I know have had some form of high-functioning autism, and though it can be a struggle talking to them sometimes, for the most part things are perfectly fine and I personally don't think I'd shy away from a relationship with them... but that's on the high-functioning side. If someone can barely speak at all or has major problems with how they perceive reality, then I don't think I'd date them, but that's me and I'm super picky about people in general anyway- I don't think I'd date someone who is bipolar ever again, even if they were nice... You sound like you really like her, so instead of saying "yes" or "no" right now, how about you see how it goes? It's not like you guys can't break it if things don't work out anyway, and honestly, it sounds like you are willing to put in the effort as a partner to make this work... but that's just the vibe I got from your very short post.

 

My brother's bf is on the spectrum and they're adorable. Been together just over a year now and going strong <3

 

If you already have a connection, that is a good thing. You have obviously been around her for awhile, so you should have some idea of how her disability affects her.

As others before me have said, being on the Autism Spectrum means anything in terms of functioning (very low, to almost impossible to tell). I would assume that she is a high functioning young lady since she is making connections socially. And that you are obviously someone she trusts in being able to confide in you about a disability. That is a very hard thing to do and often leaves the teller feeling very vulnerable!

The best thing you can do is read up on the Autism Spectrum to get a better idea of what could be an issue for your partner. And talk to her about it, when a good moment arrives. Knowledge is the best thing to have, and she'll thank you for it if something comes up and she needs your help.

Best of luck!