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I want a Closer Relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MehMeg, Dec 11, 2016.

  1. MehMeg

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I have been friends with this girl, who I will call Althea to protect her identity, for five years. We've been extremely close friends for about three years. By close I refer to:
    • We talk to each other all the time, whether over skype or in real life
    • I have told her that I am a lesbian just recently, in June or July of this year
    • I love her, and we both call each other 'the best friend anyone could ask for'

    Even though I want a closer relationship with Althea, I don't want to make her uncomfortable enough for her to leave our friendship behind if she denies me. I'd like to know if she's gay or bisexual before I even ask her to go out with me, since I know that there's at least a sliver of a possibility that I might lose her entirely if I throw away my shot by asking her out too early. I don't have the guts to ask her directly, but I don't know if I could get her to mention it somehow. Althea's very supportive of my sexuality, and she didn't force me to tell her or ask me directly. I decided by my own will to say, and I don't want to put her on the spot.

    I don't want to ruin everything and I want her to remain my friend, even if we can't have a relationship. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I would do anything for her, even give up my happiness to settle for a friendship with her.
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

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    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's good that you've come out to her and that she's been so accepting. :slight_smile: If you have come out though, that's a pretty good point for someone to come out to you in turn - assuming you're comfortable. If she hasn't said anything, perhaps she's either not LGBT or not ready to say anything about it.

    I would suggest that you give it some time for the moment. See if she ever talks about being attracted to other people, and if so, who. That may give you a better idea what gender(s) she may be attracted to (or, if she's questioning right now, extra time may give her more of a chance to come to terms with her own orientation).
     
  3. Sebby45

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Black Order
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi MehMeg,

    I think Gravity hit the nail on the head. Your friend accepts you, so she is obviously open minded towards the LGBT crowd. Just knowing that, you should be glad indeed that you have a true friend! Just think how rough it would have been had she rejected you.

    I wish you all the best, and hope you will be able to find your answer sooner than later.

    Sebby45