Misinterpreting Someone's Interest In You

Hello FindWhatWorks,

Wow. What a loaded post. Where to start...

I don't have a lot of experience in this sort of thing, but the first guy you mentioned (strip club guy) strikes me as someone who may be in denial/in the closet. Just by the actions you described. But I agree. It is a big waste of your time being around a person like that because there really is no way of knowing how they truly feel about you.

The macho guy may have just been interested in being friends with you, however I am glad you took precautions in not getting involved with an obviously aggressive person. He may also have been planning to make you his next bullying target (watching you from a distance is a bit stalker like).

Good for you for sticking your ground! First off, they are married, so are in no position to make more than friendly overtures. Secondly, their influence would not have been a good one, and would show them as not a true friend by tearing you away from your studies and involving you in behaviors you abstain from.

Ultimately, time will tell the baddies from the goodies. People who are "overly" friendly in touching you and such may just be toying with you in order to get physical. They obviously have no regards for your personal bounderies. A compliment here and there is no big deal, but beware of flatterers. I would say, meeting someone who respects you as a person is the first step.

Well, I hope something I wrote is of value to you in assessing your situation.

Sebby45

 

Recognize myself in this very much as well, and am also in med school. Go figure. Sorry I couldn't be of more help than to point that out.

I just try to avoid these kinds of people so I won't fool myself into thinking I mean something to them.

 

This literally just happened to me. I meet this girl at work whom seemed kind of interested to know me. She always went out of her way to say hi and talk to me. We start to talk more & she says that we can should get to know each other. Of course I take it as friends. She actually had a GF at the time. She asked me if I was gay & I denied it.

We sometimes would text & she tells me she thinks it weird that I dont date. She ask me if I date girls again, and I deny it. Then she says "so I dont have a chance? lol jk". This while she has a girl I must say. She then ask me again one day why I don't have a boyfriend? I say I don't date.

As time goes on our friendship grows & I start to develop feelings. Like hardcore feelings. I hated it. Its only been 8 months now that I have known her. She has made comments that make me think that she is interested. I told her one day she looks pretty in her picture & she tells me I should admit I have a crush on her. I tell her her ego is unattractive & she tells me I like it.

When she broke up with her GF, she made a comment saying "now you can ask me out lol jk". I asked her if she wanted me to maybe. She says maybe thats what I want or I want her to ask me out. I tell her why fuck with each others head? And she says thats what I am doing. Am I wrong to think these are comments that show she is interested?

 

Any help here??

 

Hey!

I sounds like you are an attractive popular person. That's must be flattering although it does come with its consequences. It sounds like you keep attracting people who are curious and closeted about their sexuality. You may have welcoming energy about you that and thats wonderful. I think you are dong the right thing in staying away from these overly aggressive, creepy, guys. Continue to protect yourself.

Do you have any friends that are out? Do you go in social settings where you could be around other people that you would like to get to know? I know you couldn't just run way from med school but you can counter act people like the ones you've mentioned so far by meeting and seeking out people who are out and open or if not out and open to the world out and open with you. Never forget that you are in charge of teaching people how to treat you but that does not mean you have to walk them through every little thing. They have to meet you halfway.

-bbrudegyal

---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 08:59 AM ----------

I am goig nthrough the same exact thing except for the girl s being more implicit about asking me out. I think she like sou but she has a huge ego. She knows that you like her. She is feeding off of that and using it as "control". To be honest she wants you very badly. I do think this isn;t a good start to a budding relationship just because of the manipulation she is displaying. She may be too afraid of rejection.Fo what its worth I'd just ask her out. Be honest with her and tell you you didn't like her games. If you really want to gibe this a go be honest with her. Please learn to recognize when people jut want to play games with you and when you realize that you must leave them alone.

 

I had similar situations. But once you come out to those people (in my experience), they completely change.

I had a "straight" crush for over 6 years starting in middle school. We always knew each other but were never really friends. I didn't approach him because I automatically assumed he was straight and it would be a waste of time. Fast forward to this year of high school, we have a bunch of classes together and got to know each other really well.

He asked me to hang out a few times but I kept declining. Eventually, I said yes and we hung out a lot. Along with that - mixed signals. He held my hand when we walked together in the park, give me hugs all time, back massages, look me in the eyes for a long time, and among other things. He even sent Snapchatted me his nudes.

I couldn't take it anymore and I came out to him and told him how I felt. He told me he was straight and that he was sorry for leading me on. Some things happened and this situation is a lot more complex than the surface. But in the end, we're still kinda friends but we barely talk to each other and it hurts. I'm actually not convinced he's still straight and my friends say the same about him. I wouldn't mind still being friends with him but he's almost cut me off completely.