I'm in Arizona visiting my grandparent. I'm bi and still in the closet. Its very apparent that my grandparents are homophobic. I asked about one of my cousins and my grandma rolled her eyes and was frustrated with him for a number of reasons and one of them was him being gay. She wouldn't even validate that he has a boyfriend. Last time i was over, a couple years ago, they used to talk about him highly before he came out. I'm living in a community where the people don't like political correctness and value "traditional families" and they are very vocal about it. On top of that my relationship with my mom has been turbulent and verbally abusive and i'm here with her. Every-time we are in their living room they turn on fox news...Iv tried to rationalize with it, I really did but I just got more and more frustrated. I came here excited to spend time with my family and I feel so distant from them and unsafe in this community. Iv been trying to hide chest pains and bowel issues from anxiety. Im still going to be here for another 5 days and I think I might explode. I JUST WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY :bang:
Hi OcelotMage, I am sorry you have to deal with this sort of thing, especially since you just wanted to have a nice time with your family. The only thing I can think of is getting some alone time to try and refocus and "detox" from the negativity. Do you have your own room during your stay? If so, try and retreat there whenever you can do so without attracting attention and try to let some of your frustration out there. Throwing balled up socks at the wall is a good stress reliever and makes little noise. :icon_wink Do some deep breathing exercises to help calm the anxiety. You can say you want to step outside for a moment and do them there if you like. Unfortunately, you won't be able to change your family's attitude. Especially seeing how they treated your cousin. You'll just have to grit your teeth and hold back your feelings until you are able to move out. I know that isn't what you want to hear, and I don't blame you. I'm sure you are in a lot of emotional pain right now. :icon_sad: Hang in there, Sebby45
I'm sorry about your family. If it helps I get some frustration especially since I'm splitting from my husband. My advice is same as above plus see if you have any friends you can visit and catch up with. If not then find a good book, a good alone time spot and buckle down. Don't forget were here to talk.
