Everyday the same thing happens: I come home from school, say something that sets someone off, and before I know it, it's a competition to see who can get me to be sad. Not even joking, my younger siblings think I have no feelings or morals. Sometimes I think their right. I am diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Antisocial Personality Disorder. So not only am I afraid of literally everything, I also lack empathy for beings outside of my immediate family and a couple friends. I say things, sometimes as joke, other times because I just didn't know it would hurt them. For example, in my mind weight isn't an issue and you shouldn't put all your self-worth on how heavy you are. So I'll make a fat joke (a friend sits on me and I say something like 'you're got crush me'), not to purposely hurt anybody, I just thought it was funny. And then someone gets mad at me and I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what I said wrong. This is an almost daily occurrence. But above all, my siblings, only a year younger than me, call me a heartless monster who feels no emotions. Like I'm not even the same species, let alone their brother. Whatever. Maybe I deserve it.
LainIsLame, In my mind, no one should be treated as though they have no feelings, even those with mental illnessess. Everyone should be treated with the same respect and dignity. It is only polite after all. With your combination, I can see that you are in a very difficult situation. Do you attend therapy? Maybe your therapist can help work with you in trying to see things from your family's/friend's perspectives. I don't know how severe your APD is. I know personality disorders are a kind of fixed thing, so you might be able to improve if you try really hard, but it won't dissapear and may never alter. Anxiety does not change your personality, unless you reach the point of paranoia, so that really isn't the root of the problem here. You just experience the world differently and it clashes with the mainstream idea of how things ought to be. Have you tried explaining your "internal landscape" to them? That might help those close to you to be more understanding. Also, there are options for family therapy. I know being different really sucks. I hope something in this post will be helpful. Sebby45 P.S. Is the Lain from your name derived from Serial Experiments Lain? If so, I agree. :icon_wink
I agree with Sebby; there are counselors out there who specialize in helping people manage symptoms related to their personality disorders. If you're finding that it's taking a toll on your relationships and functioning in life, then it might be a good time to get some help. You definitely don't deserve to feel sad and upset every day. (*hug*)
That's an unexpected combination of disorders! :eek: I strongly agree with the other posters saying that you would benefit from therapy. Did any help get offered or recommended at the time when you were diagnosed? People with ASPD do have emotions. I think they have weaker and/or shorter lasting emotions. Not 100% sure about the way they tend to process anger though I'm sure you can see the advantages of prosocial behaviour. Especially considering it seems you don't intend to hurt people. It's impossible to get through life without upsetting people. However, you can aim to make people smile, and work to reduce how much you upset people. And if someone gets angry at almost everything you say, then they are the one with the problem. Hugs if you want them! (*hug*)
Thanks for all the helpful feedback, I have been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for a couple years now and it has definitely helped me. I'll try to keep what you all said in mind, thanks again.
