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My family won't acknowledge that I'm gay

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by AuroraBorealis, Dec 22, 2016.

  1. AuroraBorealis

    Regular Member

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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My family has known for four years that I'm into other women, when they found out that I had a girlfriend I never really confirmed to anyone at that time whether I was bisexual or a lesbian. After my girlfriend and I broke up I was pretty much forced back into the closet. It had never been something the family discussed over dinner. My mother didn't believe I was gay because apparently since I don't like hugging my family or being overly affectionate with my family, I'd never be affectionate in a relationship and I of course could *not* be sexually attracted to women in her eyes. My oldest siblings never believed I was gay at all just because of my age. After we broke up, it was treated like it didn't happen and the attraction I had to women didn't exist.

    Within the past year, I have opened up about my sexuality more with my mother and siblings. I can have a conversation with them about being gay, but I can't actually have a conversation with them about being gay...my family is very private. I can say "Oh I'm gay.." But I can't actually talk about girls that I like and any talk about sex in family, especially if its me saying I have or Want to have sex with other women would be completely taboo in my family.

    Recently, I was venting about liking someone, but being 99% sure they were in a relationship... They all assumed it was a guy. Another conversation, we were talking about the age range in dating..they always refer to me dating a "he" and the other day I alluded to dating a girl "Oh....you're talking about dating a girl..." Yeah, obviously, stop acting like its awkward or a shock, you've known for four years.
     
  2. dawson270500

    Regular Member

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    unfortunately I'm stuck in the same situation, my mum says to me its just a phase and wont talk to me about it at all, my sisters aren't of any use either, then there's my step dad who follows the bible to the word and doesn't know as he is likely to kill me if he knew. no one in my family likes to have any kind of conversation about it, well except my lesbian step-grandma's(step mums side). I so far have only had to deal with it for around a month or 2 I can't imagine what it be like to go that long with it. I find the easiest way to deal with it, when they say something about it been a phase, is to completely ignore them,i wont start a conversation myself about it with them, and if I want to talk about guys I fancy I go talk to other gay guys or girls.
    So try to do what i do just ignore them if they mention it and don't mention it yourself, and if you want to talk about to someone talk about to someone who doesn't say things like that, just change a few bits and it'll work i hope.

    Hope I Helped.
     
  3. resu

    Advisor Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Some people
    Your family's refusal to recognize your orientation is frustrating, but you shouldn't wait until they correct their ignorance to live your life as lesbian. Look to friends and others who are willing to acknowledge you as you really are, and just keep talking to your family as if they are the weird ones by assuming you should be straight. Homophobia is the real lifestyle choice.