on 12-11-16, I gave her a letter and in the letter talks about how she keep making plans and blowing them off. and every time I try to be there for her, she just keeps me at arms length. I told her i understand why she acts like a fuckboy, but that also a great way to lose someone that cares about you. Plus, when I gave her the note she already was having a bad day. I would've waited to give it to her, but i didn't want her meet me for nothing. I felt so bad, I still feel bad. She skimmed the letter, she told me she'll read the rest later. She looked like she was fighting tears, so I asked if she was mad at me? She told me no, that she understood why I felt like that and that I get a reply back, said she had to go and drove off like a bat out of hell. a week later i messaged her and i asked if she was aggravated with me, she told me fuck yes. I sent her this apology that says i'm sorry, please give me another chance, I'll do anything to make up to her and that she means so much to me, and that i love her and i rather be the reason she's happy and sad, and how it hurts me to she that I'm the reason she's hurt. She didn't even read it. She just blatantly said she doesn't want to talk to me. Idk what to do anymore, please help me. did i lose her for good?
Maybe you haven't lost this girl for good, but you have to leave her alone for now. I can't tell whether or not things are going to work out for you the way you want them. All I can tell is that this girl is really hurt, and needs some time away from you to sort things out. To be fair to her, I wouldn't want to read a note telling me that I act like a fuckboy from someone I care about. So if she's pissed that makes sense. What you need to do now is leave her be. Who knows, maybe she'll send you a message to say that she wants to work things out, but right now, you don't get to decide whether or not you'll meet to work things out. Some advice for the future: avoid notes like the plague. You might think it's easier, and that you'll be able to organize your thoughts better, but it's not. You can't tell how the person reading it is going to take it. Plus, it sounded like you assumed you knew her motivations for things like keeping you at arm's length, and that's something she has to tell you when she trusts you. If you really think talking in person will leave you a complete wreck, write down what points you really want to get across, and hold it in your hand while talking to her. Talk about what you're feeling because of her actions, not what she's feeling or should do. But the benefits of talking it out in person are that you can both equally talk about what's bothering you and what you can do to fix it. A note is so one-sided, very rarely do those complete resolve conflicts. So just remember that in the future, okay? For now just breathe, do something to take your mind off it, and don't dwell to much on what you could have or should have done. Things will work out eventually, even if not in the way you expect. (*hug*)
