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afraid

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by FireAndRain, Dec 24, 2016.

  1. FireAndRain

    Regular Member

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    a girl is interested me.. hasn't flat out told me, but she is always looking at me and smiling, giggling, finding reasons to be near me/talk to me,acting awkward only around me even though she's outgoing, and her friend stares at me. I've never been in a relationship. I'm into girls and I was born female. I have very bad social anxiety and low self esteem. I like her a lot, and I have no problem talking to her, but I'm always afraid of annoying her or creeping her out, so I give her space a lot and pretend she isn't there sometimes. I'm really afraid to add her on facebook for some reason, because I'm afraid of her being creeped out.. I don't know. It makes no sense to me. Anyone wanna offer me any kind words and advice? Thank you..
     
  2. Gravity

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    If she hasn't actually said anything about being interested, then I don't know that you need to change/edit your behavior in any way.

    On the other hand, if she actually expresses interest at some point, you could tell her then that you're not feeling comfortable with the idea of a relationship. It's alright to be honest, and from what you've written here, that would be a pretty honest thing to say in response. :slight_smile:
     
  3. BBRudegyal

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    I will go ahead and assume you are interested in her too. I have this type of anxiety too. What I have learned is that if you just do it then you will feel so relieved. Just add her on facebook. When she comes close let her know you notice her. When she is in the room with you do not pretend she is not there and then go daydream about what it would be like to actually talk to her. Honestly if you just do it, be honest, you will sometimes find it was a lot of hype for no reason at all.

    On christmas I told this woman I had a crush on that I was into her for a year. Every time i seen her in person I would do what you did. When she came around I tensed up, my words and mind got stuck, I pretended she didn't exist sometimes, she made me feel so good just by existing which made me paralyzed at the same time, all of the above. When I finally told her I had a crush on her, which she laughed at and called it "flattering" (aka I'm not into it), It was such a relief. IT WAS SUCH A RELIEF. I didn't even care that she didn't say she liked me too. I did not care. I held that in for so long the act of telling her became more important and fearful to me than her actually liking me.

    Even if its not with this girl you have to work through this problem. It can prevent you from having real experiences and relationships causing you to create fantasy bonds in your head which promote isolation and unhealthy thinking patterns.

    just try it out.