Just wanting to vent and maybe hear from others in similar situations. So, earlier this week, I was texting my mom that I had gotten a counseling referral from my doctor. My mom had been encouraging me on this front, so I was excited to let her know that I was taking steps to take care of myself. Well, her response text was... less than encouraging. :eusa_doh: Me: "Well, I saw my doctor today and got a referral for counseling. I think talking to someone will be good for me. (Blah, blah, blah, other unrelated stuff.)" Mom: "I am so happy you are talking to someone--a counselor, that is. It just seems like you are somewhat unsettled about what you are looking for in a mate. Love you to the moon and back. <3" At the time, I was in the middle of running errands and didn't read/think about the text very carefully, so I just texted back a quick "Love you too." Later, though, I was rereading the text and started to feel very frustrated. "Unsettled" about what I'm looking for in a mate? :eusa_eh: Uhhh, no, I've known that I liked girls for at least 7 years now. Pretty sure I know EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a mate. Honestly, I kinda blame myself for not making my sexuality clear to my family sooner. I was taking the easy way out, since my marriage looked heterosexual from the outside. It was easy to hide behind that. I'm glad to be out as bi now, but I guess I'll need to be more overt with my family about exactly what this will mean for my future. I am definitely looking for a FEMALE partner at this point, although I'm open to being with a guy again if the right one comes along. So, yeah, just feeling a bit frustrated that my mom doesn't seem to get it... :bang: Any advice on how I should proceed? Or maybe you've had similar issues come up? :rolle:
From what you've described, it sounds like you've come out in different ways at different times to your family, so it's perhaps to be expected that they'd be a little unsure about your orientation (and in turn, to get the impression that you're unsure about it, perhaps). I can understand why you might have wanted to "simplify" things when you and your ex husband were splitting up, but now that that's a bit more settled, perhaps it's time to sit down and talk with your mother (or both parents) about the truth of the matter, and why you told them otherwise several months ago, and how you didn't know the whole story yourself several years ago. It sounds like they've always been very supportive - so setting the record straight should be pretty doable.
