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Should I stay with him or not?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RainbowsFactory, Dec 26, 2016.

  1. RainbowsFactory

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    I have met this guy online 8 months ago and we dated (in a long distance relationship) for about a month but then we broke up. Two days ago, I made the mistake of getting back into a relationship with him, because I thought that everything would be fine now and that my feelings fro him would grow over time.

    I now feel really bad because I don't like him as much as he does me. I feel selfish to just continue like that! :frowning2: The problem is that something feels a bit off. He is very sweet, but I feel more like he is a friend to me. Furthermore, I know this might sound a bit shallow but I think that he is not physically attractive to me at all. (I do think personality is way more important but I want to at least feel a bit of physical attraction.)

    What should I do? Should I break up? I'm scared that if I do, he'll take it badly. (Also, I don't want to hurt his feelings.) :frowning2:
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Just to be clear, did you get in touch with him again 2 days ago, or did you reach a firm understanding that you were in a relationship again, 2 days ago?
     
  3. AnAtypicalGuy

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    Your relationship sounds very one-sided and your boyfriend will pick up on this soon enough, so I think it would be better for you to end the relationship while it's still in an early stage. If you're not happy with your boyfriend then he's not the right person for you; you shouldn't continue with it just for his sake.
     
  4. RainbowsFactory

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    We always talked every few days but we got into a romantic relationship 2 days ago.
     
  5. BBRudegyal

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    Yeah, you should break it off. If you don't like him in that way and you stay you will end up not giving him what he deserves. He deserves someone who like him in all the ways you would like a romantic partner. You deserve to have that and it be reciprocated and have it feel like you want to be there.
     
  6. Behaviorist

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    RainbowsFactory,

    My heart goes out to you. I completely understand how difficult and confusing human relationships can be. The good news here is that it sounds like you know exactly what you need/want, and just need help with the delivery. If you're like me, you're fairly sensitive and do not like to be the hurt-er. However, a greater injustice would be misleading him by withholding your honesty and wasting each other's time. Life is short. You can find a way to tell him how you feel while still being caring toward him and honoring your own truth.

    Keep us posted.
     
  7. resu

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    If you have to ask us, then you probably have serious doubts. First off, because your first relationship was only a month and long distance, chances are you weren't able to make strong physical/emotional connections, so this new relationship is almost like meeting a new person. Second, you list a lot of negatives about this guy, and most of the positives are generic.

    So, you need to be honest with yourself and ask why do you need to be in a romantic relationship with him at this time. This new relationship has barely begun, so although it may hurt him to break up, it will be less painful than if you keep stringing him along.

    If you do decide to break up, then you probably need to give him some space before trying to restart the friendship since he seems to like you more.