1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

would she forgive me if i did this?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by hopelesskid, Dec 30, 2016.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. hopelesskid

    hopelesskid
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    louisiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    on 12-11-16, I gave her a letter and in the letter talks about how she keep making plans and blowing them off. and every time I try to be there for her, she just keeps me at arms length. I told her i understand why she acts like a fuckboy, but that also a great way to lose someone that cares about you. Plus, when I gave her the note she already was having a bad day. I would've waited to give it to her, but i didn't want her meet me for nothing. I felt so bad, I still feel bad. She skimmed the letter, she told me she'll read the rest later. She looked like she was fighting tears, so I asked if she was mad at me? She told me no, that she understood why I felt like that and that I get a reply back, said she had to go and drove off like a bat out of hell. a week later i messaged her and i asked if she was aggravated with me, she told me fuck yes. I sent her this apology that says i'm sorry, please give me another chance, I'll do anything to make up to her and that she means so much to me, and that i love her and i rather be the reason she's happy and sad, and how it hurts me to she that I'm the reason she's hurt. She didn't even read it. She just blatantly said she doesn't want to talk to me. so for new years eve (before midnight i was thinking about posting this on facebook, "As the year comes to an end, there's a few things I learned in 2016. I worked on my patience(its better than what it was trust me), I realized I hate working for other people, I've did things I never imagine I say or do. My pride gets me in trouble(a lot) but hey, I'm working on it. I've made mistakes this year, and one of them I'm not particularly proud of. If you reading this, just know that I'm sorry and you mean so much to me. I feel like I can just be myself around you, and I learned a lot of shit idk about myself because of you. Seriously, I give my left kidney away to fix what I did. Just know that I'm always there for you. But anyway, off to drink this Jim Bean apple with spriteāœŒ" do you think this will make her mad or she'll forgive me?

    Happy New Years
     
    #1 hopelesskid, Dec 30, 2016
  2. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So... if i understand this correctly:

    -- your friend or girlfriend (can't tell which), constantly blows you off to do other things after making plans with you.

    -- She also "acts like a fuckboy" which I assume means she goes and hooks up with others.

    -- She won't let you get emotionally close.

    So you write her a message that describes how you experience her behavior, and asks for what you need, which is to be treated with respect.

    Then she gets mad because you asked for what you needed.

    And then you send her a letter in which you apologize for calling her out on her (legitimately crappy) behavior and for asking for what you need, and beg her to take her back, nevermind the fact that she shows you no respect whatsoever.

    What I'm trying to understand is why on earth would you want this person back? It sounds like she treats you like crap and won't own any of her own behavior. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who *wants* to do things with you, *wants* to be emotionally close with you, and *wants* a healthy relationship. From what you describe, it sounds like she is none of these.

    So the question is... do you want just someone, anyone, regardless of how shitty they treat you, or do you want someone who will genuinely care about you? My guess is that your self-esteem is so low that you don't feel like you deserve anything better than to be treated like crap... so if that's the case, a better choice might be to just let this go, and take the New Year to work on yourself and learn to believe in yourself, learn to ask for what you need, and learn to let people go if they won't give you what you need.
     
    #2 Chip, Dec 30, 2016
  3. hopelesskid

    hopelesskid
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    louisiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    we're friends (guess you can say that at this point). However, at one point in time all of my friends(even myself) thought she like me; I don't know if it's because she wasn't ready because she got out an abusive relationship or whatever. but she is "talking to other people."

    It's not that I want someone that treats me like crap, I don't have any gay girls for friends (even though this girl is bi). all of my friends or either straight or bi and most of them are guys. It would be nice to have someone that's like me, maybe she'll be able to introduce me to other bi girls or lesbians. normally I give up to easily, but for some reason I still think she's worth fighting for.

    I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I still Love this girl. I've known this girl since the 3rd grade, I Liked her every since my freshman yr. of high school (I'm 22 now, she's 21). 6 months ago I finally told her I felt after years of being afraid to tell her. I've dated or talk to girls (none that lasted more than 2 weeks), so she's the closest I ever gotten. And at this point in my life I'm still a virgin, and accepted that my love life will be shitty.

    I've been working myself for years, trying to figure out my life. It's gotten a little better but it's still shitty.
     
    #3 hopelesskid, Dec 31, 2016
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)