Is there any point in trusting anyone?

Big issue for me. I don't trust motives so it is hard for me to let someone in. However, I do believe it helping others. I think you can do that without becoming involved to where you get mistreated or hurt. Think about it this way - everyone here is helping someone else in some way by their responses and conversations. There is no irl contact therefore in theory there should be no real emotional connection - no possibility of getting hurt or mistreated.

Irl I help others anonymously often or work at shelters or with other organizations. I am always helping but do so in a way to still protect me.

 

You sound like me. Thankfully, I met my best friend of almost 10 years who is the most trustworthy person I know. I think part of it is establishing confidence as well. Abusers like to pray on those who look passive and have low self esteem. That's something I've needed to work on.

 

For me one of the greatest benefits of coming out was that I was finally able to stop questioning everyone's motives and just take people at face value. All my information was out there and so I really did trust whatever came back. And I have found that for the most part people have lived up to my expectations. I feel like I was losing so much more by withholding my trust than I have ever lost to people taking advantage of me.

 

Hmmm, I'd say that you can't truly love someone unless you truly trust them. I myself have problems trusting others, and it's something I work a lot on. But I want to be able to love the people I love unconditionally, so therefore I think trust is something worthwhile, even if the possibility of being hurt is there.

 

I think there's only so far you can go with trusting people. I feel that you have to find a balance between being nice but also not be passive and to also be able to leave a bad situation with confidence and put yourself first. A few years ago I thought that being nice was just doing and saying what people wanted to hear in order to make them happy. A lot of people liked me but eventually I got taken advantage of and landed in some pretty crappy situations. I was a very passive person so I never stood up for myself and lost all my self confidence which made me an even bigger target.

 

Yes, I have a hard time finding that balance between fully trusting, being completely open and then not getting hurt.
I can honestly say I have never been truly open and honest with anyone. There has always been part of me hidden because every time I have found someone I think hey I can tell you this about me, it comes back and bites me in this arse.. You guys here know more of my inner secrets than anyone irl..

In a perfect world, it would be lovely to think there is someone that would accept every thing we are without any judgment or possibility of being used or backstabbed. I just haven't found that. I think the longer you are in a relationship the more the trust is built. I trust my husband more than anyone I have ever known, but even still he doesn't know everything about me..obviously..

 

This. Being overly considerate seems to turn one into a massive narcissistic jerk magnet.

I guess you just have to be cautious and look for red flags before trusting anyone. It's a bit messed up that it's like this, but some people are just vampires.

I have been completely honest and open, and I got lied to and cheated on. Maybe I won't ever trust anyone completely again, or maybe I will. I don't know, I'm still healing. Regardless, I guess I just believe that most people are good anyway for some reason. Not everyone is a narcissist, and so they deserve at least the benefit of a doubt. That being said, I've also opened myself completely and found acceptance and love. It's the best feeling ever.

What I'm trying to say is that it's a leap of faith. I just don't make it for anyone.

 

For me trusting people have always ended up bad. I'm not gonna tell anybody anything now. To dangerous.

 

While I let some people into my trust, I tend to hold back from becoming too reliant on them. I've found that even the people closest to you can easily let you down, so getting too trustful is no good. I've also become very aware of the inevitability of all things coming to an end, including friendships, and although I dislike the ideology I can't really ignore it.

 

When it comes to complete trust in a relationship, I don't think I could ever fully trust someone. I tried to be daring and open up. I got burned. I'm not going there again.

I've tried to trust "friends" in the past, but they always let me down. They never treated me equally, and talked behind my back.

Maybe one day someone will prove me wrong, but until then I am content on my own.