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Breaking up is hard to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Harley, Jan 4, 2017.

  1. Harley

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    Hi folks,

    I'm looking for a bit of input here.

    To cut a long story short, I got into a relationship with a friend, both girls. We'd both never been with women before. None of us were comfortable enough to go public, so we kept it to ourselves or at least tried to for the best part of 3 years.

    People had their suspicions & asked us about the relationship, but we denied it all the way. Anyway, the pressure became to much. I found out a few months back that my now ex had cheated on me with a guy, so I ended it then & there.

    I cut all contact, deleted photos etc. She started dating this guy, however, we both have mural friends. My ex still had photos of us both on her IG & FB accounts, posted recent photos wearing clothes I had gave her & I'd still wearing a friendship bracelet we got together.

    I returned all my things at the time of the break up. That was 4 months ago. A friend has just told me that she's now deleted pictures of us both after new years. Why would she wait until now to delete them? She always said that she would never delete photos because they are memories. She still had pictures of exes when we were together, so why keep pictures of them & delete ones of me? I deleted mine because I was hurting at the time, I didn't want to see her or be reminded what she done to me, but why is has she waited 4 months to delete pictures of me? Especially if she's still in a long distance relationship with the guy she cheated with & still has pictures of other exes?
     
  2. Anthemic

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    It could be because she is hurting from the breakup. It could also be that she decided to start fresh this year and try to move on. I'm sorry for what happened. I hope you will be able to heal from this.
     
  3. Harley

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    Thank you! Much appreciated :icon_wink
     
  4. Caecilian65

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    Yes I agree. Everyone has different times to be hurting or deciding they want to start afresh. 6 months I brokeup with my first ex she cut all on contact on a social networking site. I feel bad about because we thought we could stay in contact but that might happen in the future who knows... sorry for ramble there but yes I agree with the post above.
     
  5. Harley

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    Thank you & sorry to hear about your stuff. Love really does suck! I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. If you're going to rid all evidence and cut all contact, do it at the time, why wait months down the line? Its just keeping the drama going. As far as I know she's in a long distance relationship with this guy, who has no idea who I am & has no idea about me being her dirty little secret, so I can rule out the fact that he's the reason why the pics of us have been deleted.

    I really should just let it go, but its bugging me because she never, ever deletes pics, like ever. She still have pics of her exes and kept in contact with one that I know of any way when we were together. It did annoy me a little, but I never said anything because it was her past.

    I was so angry with her when I found out she had cheated and her sister tried to cover it up. She knew about us & pretended to be my friend, so that pissed me off as well. I done something not very nice to get my own back and made her give me everything I had ever gave her back, gifts and things. I'm not proud of that, but it was never about the stuff, it was me taking back part of my life I shared with her.

    This friend that showed me her account, showed me her pics and in recent pics she was wearing a jacket and a bracelet I gave her, so why wear them, but delete my pics? I just don't get that part either. Girl is a head fuck!! I was doing good, now this has just made me feel shitty all over again. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Its appreciated :icon_wink
     
  6. resu

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    If she never deletes pics, then maybe she is trying harder than usual to forget your relationship. However, you don't really know why unless you ask her, and if you choose not to ask, then you should try to avoid stressing yourself out. This is not your first and last relationship. One option is to write all your thoughts about her and then try to avoid them clouding your mind. Stay in the present because the past is history.
     
  7. Harley

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    Thank you Resu. its much appreciated. I know I shouldn't stress about pics. I suppose I'm just struggling to accept that I've been played & manipulated. i was speaking with a mutual friend last week. He was telling me that she wasn't posting much about her relationship with the guy she cheated with on social media because she thought I was following her from a fake account!! How arrogant. I had to stop myself from messaging her to put her straight, but she's an idiot & I'm not wasting my time. My friend did say he told her to stop being ridiculous when she said that to him. Apparently, 5 months down the line, she's now openly broadcasting that she is together with this guy.

    I've told my friend to stop mentioning her to me because its not allowing me to heal & hearing this stuff is just scratching at the wound & making it bleed again. I really wish I had never met her. She was the one that pursued me. I'm not saying I was forced into anything, of course not, but she was the one that came onto me. I was reluctant. Used & abused until a better offer came along. 5 months, almost 6 months down the line & I'm still hurting really bad & alone, whilst she's not giving a shit & moved on. I know she's not worth it. My head knows that, my heart is just not for letting go. I would give anything to forget about her & move on. I hope I would've been there right now after all this time, but I'm stuck in a rut. It really helps speaking to people like you, so thank you! :kiss:
     
  8. resu

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    Try not to bottle up any feelings. Release them in a positive way, maybe by writing or some other creative outlet. It's good you told your friend to not mention her anymore. Continue to let memories of your ex fade by making new memories with other friends.
     
  9. Harley

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    I will try my best! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Its good to know that there are some decent people out there :icon_bigg