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Yeah, I'm still dealing with this guy.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RavenTheRat, Jan 5, 2017.

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  1. RavenTheRat

    RavenTheRat
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    If you've not seen my previous posts about this guy, I'll summarize. He's my ex boyfriend, I broke up with him because there is something very off about him. At first I attributed all his unnerving qualities to his tourettes syndrome, but I now know that there's something else at work. I'm pretty sure he's bipolar. Either way, I don't want anything to do with him, but...

    I just don't know what to do. I can't shut him out, I'm afraid of what he'll do to himself, or god forbid someone else, if I do that. But now he told me he's stopped taking his meds. I feel bad, because I treat him like shit basically. EVERY time I talk to him he shares personal information that makes me anxious and that I don't want to know and so every time he comes up to me I get defensive and anxious.

    Something I HAVE found out is that my friend told our counselor and teacher about him, so it does comfort me to know that adults are aware that he's a bit off, but they don't understand how off he is.

    I told him to see a counselor, he said that he doesn't want to because then he can't be a policeman. My mom even offered to help him, but he keeps saying he'll be fine.

    I'm.... not even sure what my question is. I don't know how to handle this, I don't know what to do about this, any advice would be ambrosia to me right now.....
     
    #1 RavenTheRat, Jan 5, 2017
  2. WarmEmbrace

    WarmEmbrace
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    Just keep insisting that he get help from a counsellor/therapist and don't offer much else. You didn't enlist to be his parent , saviour nor his therapist, you were his girlfriend at some point, and that's a totally different "job".

    My opinions is that people who keep needlessly sharing personal information in the manner you say, in the framework that you describe, generally do that to exert some form of control the person they share the information to, whether they are aware of it or not. It is not healthy.

    I think your feelings that there is something off about him are justified and you have every right to protect yourself by keeping your distance while telling him to seek help. Tell him that if he truly cares or cared about you he needs to stop contacting you, you need away time from him. If he hears you and gets it and is able to seek help to give you your space, then my read of the situation was wrong and he was in fact just in a bad spell. If he doesn't get it, and still keeps bugging you making you anxious, then he indeed is in dire need of professional help. People who imply that they would hurt themselves ( by not taking their meds or in some other ways) , or hurt someone else if they don't get what they want (attention or anything else) are in need of professional help.

    Of course that's just my opinion, I am not a therapist :slight_smile:.
     
    #2 WarmEmbrace, Jan 6, 2017
  3. cakepiecookie

    cakepiecookie
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    Sorry but this guy is not your responsibility and there's nothing you can do to help him if he's unwilling to follow reasonable advice. He sounds very unstable, and you're going to want to be a safe distance from him when shit inevitably hits the fan. I'm sympathetic to mental health issues, but when it's affecting your own sanity then you need to step away.

    If he's immediate threat to himself or other people then call the cops and/or his family and let them handle it.
     
    #3 cakepiecookie, Jan 6, 2017
  4. Assassin'sKat

    Assassin'sKat
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    Just insist he get help from someone else. Just keep that up. If you don't want to be around him, you don't have to. It's not your job to watch out for him. Someone else should watch out for him, and he will be over you eventually.
    You don't have to put up with him if you don't want to.
     
    #4 Assassin'sKat, Jan 6, 2017
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