So I have an issue that I'm aware that it shouldn't be. I've known my boyfriend for a year now, but it's been official for almost five months. It's a long distance relationship. We get along really well and love each other very much. He always seemed to be a very secure guy, but as time goes by his actions tell the opposite. He is pretty insecure. He relies on social media posts to feal beautiful and secure (and I always tell him he doesn't need to, he is really handsome). He is kind of good with his pictures and always gets many likes and followers. Anyway, our latest issue, he is still posting pictures by himself, and none of us. I've posted our pictures since day one. I know this should not bother me, but it still does. To me this just says he is not ready to let his fans know he is in a relationship. It also bothers me a lot because he gets hit on a lot trough social media. I asked him about and he said he would eventually post them, whatever that means. Also said: "it's not that I don't want to, it's just that it hasn't really come to mind." Any advice? Comments? Thanks!
A long distance relationship is likely to always be fraught with issues. You could tell him he is beautiful until you are blue in the face, it will not mean anything to him until he works on his own self-esteem. Why would you expect social media to be a representation or reflection of a relationship? Some people are more private. There are celebrities who keep their private lives out of the spotlight. I do not know the relationship statuses of some of my favourite singers. Also, "fans"? Really? It is not always the case that social media followers become fans. What gives them the privilege of being "in" on your private life? 5 months is a very short relationship, perhaps he only sees social media as a place for him to get an ego boost. Just like I would not post videos of a boyfriend and I on my YouTube, because it is for my music. It is fuck all to do with anyone else. Alternatively, perhaps he is still coming around to being in a relationship. I would think very carefully before you start expecting him to involve you in all parts of his life. He rightly has other parts of his life that are not centred around you, and so should you have parts of your life not centred around him. It does depend, though, on what kind of social media. I would not want my boyfriend to have ****** or any such hookup apps. But typical social media sites? I would relax, because he is clearly open about it and has nothing to hide, otherwise they would be private and you would not be able to access them. ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2017 at 04:10 PM ---------- When did announcing or portraying a relationship on a website become a criteria of "being ready for a relationship"?
Thanks for your reply! Of course social media is not a representation of real life, I agree with you on that part. The issue is he has many followers on IG and FB, and he was the kind of person that would hook up trough social media. So to me him not posting about tells me he is not ready to let everyone know he is not available anymore. I understand why celebrities would rather keep dating lives private, because of security. Not the case here. And of course portraying a relationship on social media is not a criteria for being ready, but what are the criteria? Is there a handbook for this? I'm fine with him not posting about us, but why post like if he were still single? Am I overthinking it?
From my personal experience with this...I had a huge issue with the guy I was dating who had a lot of behavior issues with social media as your boyfriend. He always post pictures of himself on social media and many of them were pretty provocative in order to gain likes and comments from his "social media friends" and yes...he was very, very handsome but really insecure to say the least. This was something that concerned me because I felt if he was trying to gain my interest in him..then he should not be sharing nude or nearly nude pics on social media for likes and comments and expect me to be okay with it. He should be sharing them with me. He even went so far as to post details of our budding relationship which I truly had issues with since I am a pretty private person. I also hated that information that he should have been sharing with me since I was the one he had interest in ...he shared with social media and not me. I was not upset with him not sharing pics of us as a couple because I did not want him to and I did not post pictures of us together either. However, I did have issues with all that is mentioned above and therefore, I stopped seeing him altogether. Considering that I am still not a big fan of social media ...I still tend to believe that some things of a personal nature are not meant to be shared on social media and if my boyfriend has something to share with me in regards to our relationship ...then he should discuss with me as opposed to sharing it with social media. This is not cool and not the type of person I want in my life as a boyfriend. However, this is just my opinion on this matter.
I have been with my partner for three years. He only poss pictures of himself on his social media. I post pictures of the two of us. It's what he is comfortable with, it's what I am comfortable with. I am secure enough in our relationship where it does not bother me. In fact, there never was a point in time where it ever remotely bothered me. Maybe you need to stop thinking about where his head is at and think about where your at.
