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My bf likes someone else

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by AdamMithrandir, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. AdamMithrandir

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    Hello,

    My bf and i is in a relationship for 3 years now but last night, he told me that he likes this one cute guy.. i know him and by the way he looks at my bf when they talk, i know that boy likes my bf too..

    My bf also said that he feels comfortable to speak about his work problems with his crush although they don't know each other very well and rarely been touch..

    When i asked my bf is he wants to be with his crush, he insist that he only likes the guy, want to get know him better and feels comfortable around him but refused to let me go.. i won't blame him if he wants to be with that guy.. i just want him to be happy.. i told him to give both of them a chance because although i pains me to the core, i don't want my bf to lie to himself about his feelings

    So what should i do now?, should i go and let them be together? And i also afraid that if i continue this relationship, my bf still has feelings for this guy and i would feel cheated
     
  2. AlmostBlue

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    I'm sorry this had to happen, but I think you are keeping a very level head at this time of hardship. You are right that it's only fair to both of you to break up and let him pursue the other guy. It is incredibly selfish of your boyfriend to mention that he likes someone else but refuses to let you go. He probably wants to test the waters first and see if the other guy will like to be in a relationship with him before he breaks up with you, and you don't have to wait for that to know that this relationship with him is over. It sounds like your boyfriend lacks maturity, and maybe you will be better off with someone else as well.
     
  3. TheChainedPegasus

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    Well, you seem really mature for what you said, very altruistic.

    Your boyfriend seems to be cool too, and contrary to AlmostBlue, he doesn't want to let you go because he likes you too much for it (or he's a douche who's using you, but I'll keep that one out for now, because we don't know him enough).

    Speak with him about it, maybe with his crush too, or speak all of you 3.

    Whatever will happen, you are a wonderful person, and stay strong (*hug*)
     
  4. AdamMithrandir

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    Thank you for your reply

    I wouldn't call him immature but i do agree with you that he's just testing water, i just hope that he could admit it as early as possible so i could find some closure..
     
  5. AdamMithrandir

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    I've been suggesting exactly this to him.. i've said that all three of us should hang together, go for movies etc. so that my bf could know his crush better.. hell, they could go on a date without me if they wanted to but my bf refused... He also said that he wanted to cut all contacts with the boy and will never go back to our favourite karaoke spot where his crush work.. he also said that he didn't know if the boy would be a good bf for him

    For most people that should be the end of the problem, but i don't want my bf to choose me over his crush because i am kinder, or a better bf... i just want him to choose me because he loves me.. and if he loves the boy, then choose the boy..

    He seems want to avoid his feelings by cutting all contacts with his crush and how long will that last? How about when they bump into each other (the boy lives and work 1 minutes away)?
     
  6. TheChainedPegasus

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    Wow, you all are really mature. I love you three already :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    However, his reaction was kinda extreme, cutting all contacts with his crush...

    Well, you both shouldn't endanger your relation by not being true to each other. You have to tell him to be totally true about you and his crush.

    It's essential if you all want to be happy.

    Sadly, at least one person in this story will not be happy. Love is hard...
     
  7. AdamMithrandir

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    Thank u for your kind words, both of you...

    Anyways, i've tried doing what you suggest that he needs to be totally true about all this and he said that if he doesn't love me, why should he be honest with me and now he feels he doesn't need someone else after opening up to me..

    Though i still have some concerns (about when they run into each other, maybe its just a silly thought). So i guess that settles it..

    Thank you again for listening to my problem...
     
  8. TheChainedPegasus

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    Welp, I was feeling kinda down, but a problem has been solved (a big part of it at least).

    That legit made me feel better.

    I hope you will all stay happy <3