Is it weird that I'm black but only date white guys?

Hi maricamagica!

I'm sort of in the reverse situation: I'm white, but I'm more often attracted to guys of color, for some reason. Attraction can be weird, since it's an amalgam of physical/sexual and romantic attraction, as well as possibly some environmental factors (like you're suggesting).

I think dating people mostly of one color can be fine as long as you're honest with yourself. If you're dating certain people because you're uncomfortable with other races or because you're not comfortable with your own identity, then it's obviously an issue you need to work through on your own. But as long as you're being honest and you recognize the people you date/hook up with as people, then I say go for it!

 

Not weird at all. Everyone has preferences. Just do you.

 

I have a similar attraction

I'm white, but I'm more attracted to girls of colour (or girls who have more colour than I have which is not that hard :lol

I don't think it's weird at all.

 

This is not unusual. Most of the guys I've been with are non-white.

 

Do you just not know any black guys? It could just be circumstance

 

Here's my situation.....I am black.....I've grew up in a majority black neighborhood early part of my childhood. I also grew up in a majority white neighborhood as a teen as well. You aren't weird. Even though there are some fine black Brothas.....I do find myself more attracted to guys outside my race, especially if they are tall, bearish, and beared white guys.......Yes!!!!!

 

No I'm in the same boat. I've had some bad experiences with black guys that I don't want to talk about, so I have my reasons. I just like white guys just like people like cakes.

 

I agree with resu that preferences, to a large extent, are socially constructed, especially if they are narrow and specific, like race. For you, growing up with white people amongst other factors in your life most likely contributed to your preference. Asking whether this is weird or not is not particularly constructive. I think Resu answered assuming that you would want to broaden your preferences, and suggested befriending others. After all, you have nothing to lose by broadening your preferences.

 

I don't think there was such a misunderstanding. I understand (and presumably resu as well) that you were talking about romantic and sexual preferences, but these preferences usually stem from familiarity, was my point. Hence suggesting that if you would want to broaden your sexual preferences, then befriending people would be a good place to start.

I have lived in many countries growing up, and although I was initially attracted to the opposite gender of my own nationality at first, it kept on broadening as I lived in different places and encountered people of different race, and also my attraction to the same sex developed over time. I believe this had a lot to do with familiarity and not so much with my innate tendencies. Of course, this is not something that we can control or make happen with sheer will power, but I do believe that it is possible to select the environment we'd like to be in to provoke the change that we desire.

I only mention this because I thought that perhaps your initial post suggested a desire for some change through you positing this question. I believe that often times, when one is not attracted to people of one's own race, it usually stems from identity issues, and perhaps that is also the case for you, from what you've written above. I think the important thing isn't so much whether your situation is weird or not, or who you should be attracted to or not, but rather about how comfortable you feel of your preferences. I sensed a little discomfort in your initial post, and that's why I echoed Resu's suggestion to befriend people of other races including your own, to give yourself a chance to see how you react, and how you develop.

 

I love and can relate to Karaokerockstar's response because my upbringing is totally similar to his and although I have been with some very handsome black men...I have also been involved with some hot white guys as well. In fact...my late partner was Italian. I also had a good friend who was also Black and only dated white guys. Therefore, I don't see your situation as a problem at all if that's your preference.

 

With me because my first sexual experience was with a black female, I think that is why I am initially attracted more so to black women. But I have no real preference color wise - it's the bod. I love the hourglass.