So I've been out for almost 3 years now. I'm out to my family and friends and have figured that out pretty well. I'm just a little confused about the best way to come out to fairly newish aquaintances. I'm moving to a new area in the next six months and will be meeting a lot of new people so I'd like to not feel like I'm hiding something for months until I make friends. Plus, well, I'd love to be able to start dating through a more mainstream method than online or gay bars and unless I can figure it out I'll always be told "wait you're gay? I never would've guessed."
If you want to be blatant about it you could get one of those Stonewall 'Some People Are Gay. Get Over It!' T shirts. That's what I plan to do at university! If not you could just drop it into conversation casually like 'that guy is hot' etc. Hope this helps!
Hey TheGayCaduceus, One obvious way is to wear Rainbow jewelry (like a rainbow wrist band) or apparel.
Yes, a rainbow item would be very simple. I have also seen many cars with the equality sign car bumper stickers, which suggests to me at least a straight ally!
Didn't even think of getting a pride accessory. That sounds very reasonable! Might go necklace or ring because bracelets tend to fall right off me unless I just go for a livestrong band! I really *should* try to be more open to just talking about guys to people but I guess growing up in an area where low-key homophobe males are the norm has left me hesitant. Thanks everyone!
That's totally understandable, TheGayCaduceus. I would comment that in many cases, homophobia is directly related to ignorance, ie a lack of education and/or experience with non-heterosexuality. Depending on how generally tolerant your new area is, once people get to know you, it can usually make a positive impact on any homophobic prejudices that they may harbor from their upbringing and/or culture. Just a thought.
Yeah I've been extremely lucky so far that I haven't met any outright haters and I'm good enough at concealing my sexuality that the rest of the people just don't even notice. The thing is I know that if it's just ignorance fueling everything I'd be fine coming out and being myself. But my family has instilled an irrational fear of meeting the 1% of haters which is holding me back. Guess more subtle things like this are the best way to work on that haha
Hey dude, I Hear you! And I totally understand that you have to do what you are comfortable with in your own personal situation. And a lifetime of homophobic influences is never easy to overcome. I would only offer that I spent over 20 years in the US military hiding my bisexuality. I heard and dealt with SO much homophobia and biphobia that it's ridiculous! I fought the good fight for equality whenever I could - and I wasn't really passive about it at all. What I want to tell you is that when I finally Came Out, NONE of my military friends were less than totally supportive of me simply because I have a different sexual orientation. (And, boy, was I scared when I Came Out to most of them!) I certainly can't guarantee a good outcome in your life if you are an open homosexual, let alone a heterosexual. I can't guarantee that you will never experience hate in your life. I would only say that you should live life in the best, most honest manner that you can so that you don't ever regret not being you. And, then, F*CK anyone who hates on you, unless they are willing to be educated. Sorry. My 2cents.
No need to apologize quantum god bless you for coming out to your military friends, I would've been nervous as hell! Though when I was away at school I was a lot more confident about being out and proud, I guess I need to get back out from under my parents' roof (which is exactly what's about to happen thankfully). I think I really need to just close the closet. Because right now I feel like I have one foot pointed back in its direction haha. :dry:
It certainly sounds like you have a clear way forward. More power to you! Just try to balance with what you are most comfortable doing (in terms of Coming Out) with what makes sense in your current circumstances. (I.e. don't take unnecessary risks until/unless you are ready to do so.)
