I am currently chatting to a women who is not my usual type. I tend to go for tom boy/slightly femme women however she is a very butch women. I really like her personality - everything about her in that way I am attracted to and is the ideal thing for me. However I am not overly attracted to the masculine appearance. She dresses in mens clothes, uses mens toilteries and aftershave etc. I dont find that aspect particuarly attractive. She really likes me and she Knows that she is not my usual type and I am also not her usual type as she goes for very feminine women which I am not. I dont know what to do... am I being shallow? Will the attraction grow about her appearance? Is it silly to be put off by the way she dresses ? I feel like a bad person for even having these thoughts!
Even if you like her personality, you don't really have to date her even if It's based on her looks. We need a partner who is both physically and mentally attractive to be happy in the long run. It's one thing when a partner's looks fade (it would be shallow to leave them for that reason) but usually we start off with physical attraction. If you can give her a chance too, that's great. But just know that you won't be able to change her. You'll have to get used to how she dresses in the relationship if you want to go forward. Personally, it would turn me off a bit too. I usually don't care about looks that much but it reminds me of why I'm not attracted to men (not saying butches are men, but it can be a turn off if they take a male gender role too far).
