Im scared to be open up to my bf anymore. I consistantly feel like im judged on everything i say and do. I want to have sex more but he is satisfied by how much we have sex already which is 2-3x a month. He gets bothered by me talking so much (which i know is a problem ive had for awhile to deal with my anxiety). He says im too clingy and i need to work alot on these aspects of my personality. Basically i know he means well and i love him but he makes me feel like im a terrible gf. He doesnt do it on purpose. But i grew up with a lot of abuse so i take his criticism very hard and i am a bit clingy. My problem is how do i ask him to make love to me more frequently without sounding forceful? And how can i stop bieng so clingy?:tears: Btw hes also my only friend next to my sister and weve been together for 2 years.(*hug*) ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2017 at 10:35 AM ---------- Also how can i learn to take criticism better? And also ive started shutting down in our relationship because i always feel like im such a terrible gf. Recently ove been having thoughts of cheating. ..(i wont) but im just feeling so fustrated sexually and emotionally.
That's his "fault". OK he's not abnormal, but I'd say it's more normal to be like you and want more. This sounds like gaslighting. I (personally) would not put up with it. I'm not so sure. It could be my own issues speaking here, but (from your description) he is being a jerk. That is "being", not necessarily "is", although the difference may be small. I would too. Let's see what other EC members say. For some reason, your bf is pushing my annoyance buttons.
Thank you beenthrdonetht. You help me clear things up a bit. I feel less terrible. I just wish i knew why hes making me feel this way.
To me, it sounds like you are in a one-sided relationship, meaning you have to follow his rules and what he wants. I have been in a similar situation with my ex, where she had all these rules. To keep her happy, I would follow her rules to a T, and respected whatever she said because I believed I loved her. I ended up getting cheated on, but the most valuable lesson I learned from that 3yr train wreck is that a partnership should be equal. If there is an issue, if one partner isn't happy with something, then you should be able to sit down and talk and come to a compromise. If you don't even have that option, if you are getting shut down and they won't even listen to your concerns, that could be a red flag. You are not a terrible girlfriend. Criticism is hard to hear for anyone.
