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Coming out to bf about being lesbian.. help

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by eliheart, Jan 28, 2017.

  1. eliheart

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    North Carolina
    So, I have always said that I'm pansexual but have a large preference for boys. I always said that because I believed it to be true, but within the last week, it has really hit me that it's actually the complete opposite.. I, from what I have experienced so far, believe I'm a lesbian.

    I have always been pressured to like boys and get married to one so I could have my own kids, etc, etc. All of the hetero norms that are forced on to many females, and males.

    I am genderfluid, and my parents do not know, and I do not wish to tell them, because that and me being a lesbian would be far too upsetting for them. However, they are not the issue. I am 16 and a high school junior. During the beginning of December of 2016, my crush and I began dating. We would constantly flirt and talk, but now that we're finally together, something I have been waiting for so long for, I don't feel the same. I am beginning to become more distant and uncomfortable around him because of my recent realization that I'm lesbian.

    I know I need to tell him, and I will, but I don't know how. It's going to hurt him so much. He's always telling me how much he cares about me and how much he loves me, and I care and love him too, but not in that way. I prefer him as a close friend. I'm just scared of hurting him. How can I tell him I'm a lesbian?

    I CANT tell him in a face to face conversation. I've thought about it and just the thought alone almost gives me a panic attack. I've seen people talk about writing a letter or email? Please help. Please.
     
  2. out4now

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    New Zealand
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It might be better to talk this things through in person. It'll give both of you a chance to tell each other everything that needs to be said. It would be harder to move on otherwise. This is just an idea. Good luck.