he left me for his girlfriend.

It sounds to me that he is struggling with his sexual identity which could result with the fact of being afraid to come out altogether. Many times there are guys such as your friend who become afraid of coming out or better yet dealing with the fact of being attracted to the same sex due to the pressure he may receive from family members and close friends and is afraid that coming to terms with his sexuality will result in him losing them altogether. Therefore, from what you have mentioned in your initial post...it sounds to me that yes...he is in denial because he is not ready to embrace the fact of having feelings for another man. Unfortunately, the best thing that you can do at this point is to leave him be. Let him go through this ordeal in his own way instead of putting your two cents in. Allow him to come to terms on his own. Needless to say...although it sounds that you care a lot for him...you probably do your self a favor by moving on. Good luck!!! JS

 

It sounds like you like him a lot. Right now, I think you should give yourself space from him and let him "miss" you a bit. There's no point in pushing anything on him right now because it's obvious that he's scared of what's going on between you two. It's not fair that he's going back to his girlfriend after what he had with you and expect for things to be normal and that you guys could stay friends. If you want to continue to be friends, that's up to you but it will be VERY hard on you because he will have a GF now.

Right now, let him be.. let whatever it is catch up to him. Maybe he will turn to you, maybe he will not. We won't know and we have to let this issue run its course. But if whatever you guys had was really strong, I wouldn't doubt that he will come find you later.

 

Is this the same guy who was an athlethe?

 

Hello...I'm not saying not to be friends with him but at this point...I tend to think its best for you to give him some time alone to rationalize what he wants to do or better yet..what path he wants to take. The thing is that being around you after what you have mentioned in your initial post that it would not be best to be in your company due to the fact of causing more conflict and confusion for him to deal with. Leave him be and allow him to reach out to you on his own. That's all I'm saying. BTW...when he does reach out to you again...this time...put up some boundaries in order to protect yourself. You do not want to develop deep feelings for someone who is struggling with their sexuality that can result in you being hurt again by his actions. Just saying...JS:smilewave

 

I can only tell you how I would handle this if it were me...therefore, I would definitely not text him back. I would just stop all contact with him altogether. I tend to believe that if its any kind of feelings there for you then he will reach out to you without any interference from you. In fact, if you give him space and let him come to terms on his own..it will work better in your favor because he is taking the initiative to approach or contact you first. Another thing...I am not sure about the movie date but that's your call as long as you can keep your feelings intact. Its very apparent I must add that you do have feelings for this guy and deep down I would not be surprised if you are hoping in some way that he will come to terms with his feelings and reciprocate them towards you. This is just what I have suspected from your post. Again...just be careful and if and when he reaches out again to you...just focus on establishing a friendship first and foremost and let everything else fall into place if its meant to be. :smilewave

---------- Post added 30th Jan 2017 at 04:39 PM ----------

I have to add my two cents in on this because I just read your response. I am more certain now that you need to let him be. He is definitely struggling and its almost like he is torturing you so to speak knowing the fact that you do care for him a lot and for you two to sleep back and forth in each others' beds and he let it be known that no physical contact be had out of respect to his girlfriend. Then my question is: Why he is not sleeping in his girlfriend's bed or better yet alone??? In my opinion..he should just not focus on giving his girlfriend respect but you too. In a nutshell...I tend to believe that due to the history that you two have...he is stringing you along so that you will be there once this girlfriend thing comes to past. In fact...I'm even more certain that this girlfriend thing is not a genuine situation and this is something he is doing out of frustration/pressure that he is receiving from either family members or friends in order to gain their approval or keep them out of his business. Again...just my two cents...JS:eusa_doh:

 

This can't go on for your own sake. I don't think you should cut ties forever but at least for two weeks, make him feel what it is to lose you. It'S not fair of him to keep you around and saying things like 'If you are a real friend then...'

Besides there aren't many guys that have the urge or the strength to wait till marriage. Look at the situation, She is perfect because they don't have to have sex. if women don't turn HIM on he can't get hard and the word will get out that he is gay. Therefor this girl is perfect, no sex and keep his persona up as a straight men.

He can't enjoy you both, don't waste your time! Give him space, if he doesn't come around after 4 weeks. You will need to let him go, how hard it May be.

 

In regards to you loving the H**ll outta him...yeah...I figured that out from your posts/responses. What I meant when I had mentioned he is torturing you is that for you to lay so close to him in the same bed and yet not indulge in any sexual contact considering the way you feel about him has to be torture because YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!!!!! Also, in regards to whether he like what have took place between the two of you sexually...well...yes, he did. This is part of the problem that he is struggling with. Think about it this way...if you had sex with someone and afterwards...it was not what you had expected...would you still want to sleep in the same bed with this guy???...better yet...this would make it easy for him to be with his girlfriend and withdraw from you altogether. Instead..like I said before...he is keeping you hanging on a string until he comes to terms as to how he wants to deal with things in regards to his sexuality. He figures that to have you hanging on will make it an easy transition for him to have his old standby near. BTW...he is very aware that you care a lot about him and this is why he probably feels that no matter what he is struggling/dealing with...you will always be there for him because of your feelings. To conclude...he will never let you go completely. Even if he decides that he is willing to focus more on his budding relationship with his beard...he is not going to let you go completely out of his life. Just so you know...JS:bang:

---------- Post added 31st Jan 2017 at 02:34 PM ----------

BRAVO!!!! I AGREE!!! :eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

Yes indeed...the ball is definitely in your court. I know she is a "beard" just by what you have shared about him and their relationship thus far. Its really not difficult to figure out once you been around as I have. Just like you had mentioned about his girl posting pics of them together on FB and he has not. In my opinion..if he was so into her like she is to him..he would definitely be doing the same and if not posting pictures...he would have definitely had sex with her already. This is where you have one up on her because he has had sex with you. Personally...I had messed around with a straight guy awhile ago. He was the one who kept making attempts to initiate sex with me. The more I resist him..the more he came on to me. I was just respecting the fact of him being straight and keeping our relationship intact. One night, I gave in and we had sex all through the night. I knew he was enjoying it by the sounds he was making as well as the way his body reacted to what was taking place. Anyway...he pulled away from me. I was dumbfounded at first because we had talked over everything prior to having sex and one of the things we agreed on was him not acting strange after having sex. Unfortunately, he did. To my surprise...he told a good friend of his about what happened between us and this friend ran into me while I was out running errands one day and he informed me that this guy had told him that having sex with me was the best sex he ever had and because he enjoyed it so much...he did not know how to act around me anymore. Furthermore, this guy was waiting for me to reach out to him but I refused to do so. I left the ball in his court due to the fact that he initiated the whole thing and I felt don't write a check that your ASS can't cash!!!! lol..so to speak. Eventually, he did come around and we talked. However, since I now knew where he was coming from because now...like your friend..he was confused and wanted to venture out to women again. Just like your friend...he wanted to keep close ties with me and my whereabouts also. He was so concerned about who I was dating or hanging out with than he was with this so called girl he was supposed to be interested in. Although we ended on good terms, I just thought in my best interest to move on from this situation for my benefit. This is why I can relate so much to your situation...JS :eek:

 

Well..again...I say that if that was really as much as you said it then trust me...you would have known it by now and furthermore...he would not be coming around and sleeping in the same bed with you. I know for myself..if I was in that situation...then I would definitely push you away totally!!!! but knowing me..I would let you know. I remember hearing a guy confided to me about having sex with someone without any lube and he said that although it was painful..but it hurts so good!!! which made him come back for more. This could very well be the case with you and this guy. Therefore, with all of that being said..this is why I say that the experience could not have been as bad as you may think and I think by his actions..he liked the sex. Just my opinion.