Right so... firstly, I hope I'm posting this is in the right place; I'm new to this. I'm 17, which I understand is still young, but the thing is, I've never EVER been in a relationship, homosexual or otherwise. I've fancied people, even thought I loved someone once (eesh) but nothing else. I've never kissed anyone, I've never even hugged anyone romantically. So my fear is that when/if I meet someone, I'm going to blow it all away because I kiss like a fish etc.. I'm inexperienced in a major way and terrified of the consequences of that. So, I don't really know what to do? What has everyone else experienced? I've tried looking for help for this kind of thing on la internet, but it's possibly only made it worse; a lot of the people asking the question are like, 13. Help appreciated. Or your experiences. Or anything. Sketchy x
I finally went on a "date" at age 21. And finally had sex at age 24. But I'd like to think I turned out OK. What do you do? Be honest. Say you've never done this before, and you'll be looking to your partner to perhaps take the lead a bit more. Or perhaps you'll find yourself in a relationship with somebody else who hasn't done this before. In which case, you'll find out by sort of blundering your way forward. Sounds weird, but that's pretty much how the rest of us found out how it worked. Lex
Hi Sketchy, If it is any consolation, I'm 27, and in the same boat you are. :lol: I think relationships happen at the right time in your life. Don't worry about inexperience. Everyone who has experience had a first time too, right? It didn't come naturally. But I understand your worries, I've had them too. I think it is only human nature. Just don't sweat it. If you are always worrying it is bound to come across in any relationship you have. Just a little encouragement. :icon_bigg Sebby45
Hi Sketchy, well I'm 22 and I feel exactly like you. However, I do believe that you have to be honest. When you meet someone just tell her. If it's the right person she will accept you as you are (I believe strongly that the right person won't be laughing at you or anything...) Oh and maybe if you think about it, maybe something could come out pretty hot when she tried to teach you how to kiss Have faith ^^
I was 25 when I first started coming out to real people, and I hadn't done anything romantic before (except crushes). While that is unusual, many LGBT people start dating later in their lives because of either homophobia or not even realizing their true orientation/gender. In the meantime, you can always observe and learn from others what makes a relationship constructive or destructive. When you start dating, just be honest and don't let yourself get pressured into things that are too uncomfortable. Everyone knows how it feels to be inexperienced, and many will be willing to teach you things like kissing.
Isn't it weird that so many people are so stressed out by this? It's such a common worry that we're too old to be as inexperienced as we are. Lots of people feel like this, you just don't hear that many people talking about it out loud in real life. I've thought about this a lot because I have these worries, too. I mean, sometimes I have this thought that just goes "wow, you're in your mid-twenties and you've never been in a serious relationship or had sex - there must be something seriously wrong with you" but maybe there isn't. I have a friend my age who is even less experienced than I am and I don't think there's anything wrong with him. So if I don't think it's a problem when other people are inexperienced, maybe I should judge myself by the same standard, you know? There are two things from my personal experience I'd like to point out: 1. I have kissed people and the only kisses I ever enjoyed were with someone I truly wanted to kiss. I used to sometimes make out with a friend of mine and honestly, the only reason I did it was because I thought I could use the experience. But I never really enjoyed it. I don't exactly regret it, but they're not the fondest memories either. Doing things (whether it's "just" kissing or sex) just for the sake of it might work for some people, but it hasn't worked for me. So if you don't feel like doing that, just don't. 2. I dated someone for a little bit last year and she knew how inexperienced I am. The problem was, instead of talking about it she "held back" because she didn't trust I could "handle more" at the time. I was really upset when she mentioned this. When we broke up she said she didn't know how we could have ever worked out anyway because of my lack of experience. What I'm trying to say is that there are people who don't know how to deal with it and who can treat you as inferior or weirdly fragile because of it. It's not worth being with someone like that. If they don't accept you the way you are and make you feel stupid for not being sexually experienced, they're really not the one for you. That said, I think that was just bad luck for me. I'm sure most people are much nicer about this (at least I hope so :lol: ) There's no good reason to worry about this too much. I struggle to remember that, but whenever I see a thread like this I'm reminded that I'm not the only virgin out there :icon_wink
I bet you, whenever you'll find a lover, she'll be so happy and honored to be your first. There's no reason to worry about this. It'll all come naturally.
