Hey guys, I am gay, and I have a huge massive crush on one of my friends. To put it simply, he is exactly the sort of person I could spend hours with and he literally ticks every single one of my boxes. He knows I'm gay, what he doesn't know is that I have been having sleepless nights, waves of depressing thoughts and intense feelings about him. He told me he was straight (I think XD) but I have been trying for about 2 months now, and cannot get over him. I honestly love him but I want to move on, and I have been trying to, but struggling. Any ways I can do this? I would tell him how I feel but I'm terrified that I will ruin my friendship with him, because it has grown since the summer. Thanks in advance, Max
Probably best not to tell him, and instead keep your distance. Telling him would not make the situation better for any of you, in fact it would make it worse like you said. This may be hard but the best thing to do would be to lay off of him for some time, at least until your feelings are more under your control.
Hey bingbong, I wish I could give you advice on how to move on. I was in a similar situation and I tried everything for 4 years until I couldn't take it anymore and ended up telling him everything. I tried to get over my feelings for him so many times but seeing him so often made that nearly impossible. Telling him everything has definitely made the friendship weird. We're still friends but everything is just different now it's not like it used to be. It's been about 4 months since I told him so I'm hoping with more time things slowly go back to normal but who knows. He told me he's straight but he took it about as well as I could have hoped for, he still wants to be part of my life and that's all I can ask for for now. I don't really regret telling him though because now I'm starting to live life again. Like you said, I would stay up all night thinking about him and shit and the whole thing ended up making me pretty depressed. It definitely sucks that that the friendship changed but I'm hoping we stay close, and now I'm finally starting to completely move on from the idea of being with him. I know you don't want to hear this, but from my experience the only real two options are tell him or distant yourself from him, both shitty options. I think I waited way to long to do anything. I was hoping that either my feelings would go away or by some miracle he would come on to me. It ended up messing me up pretty bad. It's just a really shitty situation to be in I'm sorry I don't have better advice. I hope this helps somewhat.
The hardest way to do this is to distance yourself for a while until you can get over your feelings for him. And then come back and genuinely be his friend. if you are Gay and he is Straight, if he still sees you as a good friend, things will still be all good when you come back. So put that phone down, dont text him, dont call, dont hang out until youve completely or at least almost complete get rid of the feelings...and then once you do that come back and kick it with him!! A good thing is, if you dissapear and he texts you or calls you, it means he cares. hope i helped
