My boyfriend of Three years came out to me almost a year ago about him being sexually attracted to men... he says he literally "Cant " have a relationship with a guy... he says he can't even kiss a guy.... he also says his brother sexually abused him when he was younger.. he only is interested in oral sex with guys and tells me he's only experienced it a few times... NOONE knows he's BI and he doesn't want to ever come out.. he hasn't accepted it himself... he says its wrong, he's embarrassed and he " doesn't want to be this way"... i wish i could help but nothing i say changes his mind.. i am the only person who knows... He tells me the only way he would ever act on his sexual desires is if i was included.. but before he came out to me i found pictures of naked guys in his phone that he said was his friend playing a joke , then i found texts from a random number sexual content that he said was him just going along with it because it was funny , and i found his ****** account from long before we started dating ... so how is that not acting on it? He was looking up naked guys pictures and texting random guys sexually... I'm sorry but thats acting on it... He apologizes and says how wrong it was of him to do those things but i just feel like theres no way he wouldn't do it again... He says the only way he would act on it is if i was included but i don't know if id be comfortable with it..if i was more comfortable and confident in myself id probably be ok with it but I'm not right now.... but i also don't want to feel like I'm taking anything away from him... a few weeks ago ( long after he came out to me ) he came home from work and told me to take a picture of something outside for someone who was coming to do yard work and send it to them... well when i opened the pictures app i found a naked guy picture from that day on his way home... well i got mad because i thought he was messaging other guys to get these pictures but he said he just gets them off tumblr then tried to blame me and say its because i "never want anything to do with him"... but thats far from true , he just works everyday and when he gets home he complains about how tired he is so i don't try anything, then he tells me we do the same thing everyday and its boring now but he refuses to suggest anything to try... i also am having major problems with my weight gain i weigh a ton more than i did when we started dating and its due to medical issues so I'm not happy with myself so it makes me really upset and makes me think he'd rather someone else than me when these things occur... he assures me that not the case but its what i feel... when we go anywhere in public he looks at all guys and not girls and i never find naked pictures of girls and it makes me think its more than just that he's bi.. I've asked him about it and he says he already has me but i feel like thats not it.. I've asked him how does he know he wouldn't want anything to do with a guy one day or how does he know he can go without it and his answer is "why would i risk my life, marriage, and having kids one day with you to go just have oral with some guy that i can't be in a relationship with because i just can't do it I'm not emotionally attracted to guys... " but is that really a thing? can guys only be sexually attracted to a sex and not emotionally because he swears up and down that it is but i just don't see how thats possible... then i had a friend come over who while he was at work who is bisexual and so is her boyfriend and she was explaining to me that her boyfriend has accepted himself and they have threesomes often with girls and guys and her boyfriend deals with stress by going out and having sex or whatever with whoever and i was telling my boyfriend about their relationship and i got really upset and suggested maybe i should just allow him to go out and do what he wants with whoever and just be ok with it somehow even though i know i couldn't be okay with that... he says " but how would that make you feel" and i said not good but if he's happy its ok and then he says he doesn't want to do that and he claims he can live without it forever but i don't know why he would consider it then... He says he loves me but in my mind love is when you don't want anyone else, you don't need anyone else, but thats not the case here... I have a very bad case of anxiety so i worry on the daily.... when he isn't here I'm constantly worried he's out with someone because my past relationships everyone of them cheated and finding the stuff in his phone i know it had to have been hard for him but i don't know. He's a very sweet and good guy i just don't know how to ease my mind... i want to trust so bad but it doesn't help that i don't understand bisexuality and everytime i try to ask or talk to him about it he gets mad and thinks thats all I'm going to focus on for the rest of my life... Don't get me wrong i am a very open, honest, trustworthy and supportive person... i have PLENTY of gay , lesbian, bisexual, and trans friends, and i fully support it ..i just can't understand how I'm supposed to feel... i don't know much about being in a relationship with someone who's bi if I'm straight because i never experienced it for myself... i don't know how bisexuality works... and its different for everyone but with my boyfriend being so embarrassed about it i don't think he'd be completely honest with me about it... any advice helps.. Thanks in advanced.
