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Lack of feelings thinking about relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by target, Feb 13, 2017.

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  1. target

    target
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    Hey guys,

    A little while ago I broke up with my (first) boyfriend of a few weeks because I wasn't really feeling it. We stayed good friends and I went over to his for a film night this weekend, and we found ourselves making out :icon_redf. It just felt right, and the next day I was thinking about getting back together with him.

    At that point, it seems pretty much all feelings towards him stopped, and don't know why. Can anybody offer some advice here? I guess you could say that I'm worried about it being wrong after all and hurting him, but it seems odd that all feelings would vanish.

    Can anyone offer any advice on what might be going on here please?

    Target :slight_smile:
     
    #1 target, Feb 13, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2017
  2. FluffyLightFox

    FluffyLightFox
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    I understand your situation as you feeling bad for breaking up with him, regretting it, and using the opportunity to come at his place to get back to how things were, even if it was only for a while. Now, there is a problem. If my interpretation is right, then you had not accepted that you broke up with him, which means you couldn't move on, which means you couldn't be in a state of pursuing another relationship (unless that new one helps you forget the other one, which would be a bad reason to want one, admitting you're looking for a relationship again).
    The positive part however is that you seem to have gotten over it (somewhat, somehow) : you're not feeling anything towards him any more. And, unless you've got "relapses of withdrawal" in the future (assuming my interpretation is right, again), then you're just fine. Maybe making out is also a thing you would do with people close enough to you but not labeled as "boyfriend". That's unlikely, and, not that it'd be unhealthy (it'd not specifically be), it could be an issue with an hypothetical future boyfriend (with all the assumptions mentionned already).

    So, you should be okay, if you're not feeling anything any more for him, you can move on (and hopefully he's moved on as well).
     
    #2 FluffyLightFox, Feb 13, 2017
  3. target

    target
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    Thanks Fluffy - I guess I should have explained the situation a bit better, but I didn't want to make the post too long. The first time we were together I was really quite keen until we made it official, and then the feelings vanished in exactly the same way they have now!

    I continued for a few weeks, decided it didn't feel right and ended it, but we stayed friends. The next day I couldn't help but think about him and his touch. That continued until the day after this film night, at which point I started thinking about the possibility of getting back together and my feelings completely vanished again!

    That probably puts a slightly different spin on what you read - I'd be curious to hear your opinion now :slight_smile:
     
    #3 target, Feb 13, 2017
  4. FluffyLightFox

    FluffyLightFox
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    This sounds more like a yo-yo, with your feelings for him going back and away (maybe because you get accustomed, or you feel withdrawn).
    At this point all you can do is wonder : do you want to go back (assuming it's still possible) and stay with him or just move on and forget him?
     
    #4 FluffyLightFox, Feb 13, 2017
  5. target

    target
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    I'm not sure it is a yo-yo - it seems too fast! It seems strange that very shortly (a day or two) into the relationship I felt like this, and after about the same length of time of contemplating being in a relationship again I feel like it again.

    Now I see it written down it all looks a bit crazy! :icon_sad:
     
    #5 target, Feb 14, 2017
  6. FluffyLightFox

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    I don't think that kind of effect can ever be too fast.. For now, I'd say you need to think clearly about what your relationship with this guy is now and will be in the future. You can also talk with him about it, if you feel it may help you make up your mind.
     
    #6 FluffyLightFox, Feb 18, 2017
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