1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Drunken 'Straight' Best Friend Mistake

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by italianbolt, Feb 13, 2017.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. italianbolt

    italianbolt
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2017
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Reading, UK
    Hey guys,

    I'm hoping that you'll be able to help me with something.

    I have been friends with this guy for almost 7 years. We're extremely close, even though we don't talk that often it's that whenever see each other it's like we've not really been away. We also have quite a physical friendship so there's a lot of hugging and an occasional peck on the cheek - all platonic of course....until Saturday night...

    We were round someone's house and we got quite drunk together. At the end of the night, we went upstairs and just then that I noticed he had a hard on so I said 'oh I can see you're clearly looking forward to nailing you're girlfriend when you next see her (yes! he has a girlfriend!) but then he said 'well actually I'd rather get something off you'

    So it happened, we made out, and he took it - saying it felt weird but really nice....

    However, the next morning was extremely awkward as we exchanged a little hug and just said goodbye. I messaged him about 2 hours ago saying it was great to catch up and thought that whole conversation he was being pretty blunt.

    I really don't want to lose such a good friend over a stupid thing like this, is there anything I can do to prevent him from just going?:help:
     
    #1 italianbolt, Feb 13, 2017
  2. Totesgaybrah

    Totesgaybrah
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2016
    Messages:
    992
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Talk about it together so it doesn't get more awkward.
     
    #2 Totesgaybrah, Feb 13, 2017
  3. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,559
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I see.two possibilities: he is genuinely straight and mortified by his behavior, or he is not totally straight and your time together basically shocked him out of denial.

    Either way, he has a lot of processing to do around what happened. I would suggest the best you can is say (in person, to avoid his friends or gf finding a test or email) that you feel bad that you may have upset him by blurring a boundary, and that you deeply value the friendship.

    He also has the issue of whether to tell his GF and if he's an ethical guy, that has to be weighing in him also.

    So, say your piece, and give it time.
     
    #3 Chip, Feb 13, 2017
  4. BranRan12

    BranRan12
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2016
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Something similar like this happened to me several years ago. A good friend of mine was dating this girl but we were all out and about drinking and such. We got into a friend's car and in the back of this SUV, my friend dating this girl, somehow brought up curiosity with another guy and all i can recall him saying was if it was someone he knew....Well I out 2 and 2 together and finally got what he was hinting at. We got back to our other friend's house where we all had met up at originally and we were the last 2 there. So I asked if he was serious and if we were really going to do this. He kept kinda egging me on, saying like he felt I wanted to and such. After kinda shaking (it was the first guy I had ever kissed or anything) we started making out and did so for what seemed like a really long time.He started feeling me up even. I was open to going further, I even asked that and he was like oh you mean getting me off and I said yes. But at that moment he kind freaked out, saying he just cheated on his girlfriend. We made out a little bit longer before leaving. He said something about calling him up the next day and going from there, but after that it was like 2 months before we even saw each other again oddly. But all in all I just wish that I had more courage to just talk about it or bring it up because even when I see him now (married to his then girlfriend with 2 kids) it still feels rather awkward. So I just suggest being honest and open with him and taking it from there.

    Sorry my response was kinda lengthy..
     
    #4 BranRan12, Feb 13, 2017
  5. Mj5963

    Mj5963
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2017
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    23
    Location:
    Port St. Lucie , Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi take it from a married guy whose wife found out I been having sexual trysts for few years with guys only , being honest is the best solution. My betrayal and deception ended up in such a painful place for both of us and I am convinced if I came to her and told her I was curious about guys while she would not agree to it she would have been in a better place . The pain I caused is horrible both for her and even me. So now weeks later I am in therapy first time ever and it is helping me understand so I can be honest with her for whatever the future holds
     
    #5 Mj5963, Feb 15, 2017
  6. Henry1988

    Henry1988
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2017
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    allentown
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Im in a very similar situation with my best friend, who isnt even my friend anymore now because of it as we speak. I hope it works out for you. My thread is a page or two back if you wanna see it, its too long to explain,...

    best of luck.
     
    #6 Henry1988, Feb 19, 2017
  7. bookreader

    bookreader
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Messages:
    2,748
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Suburbs
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Are you friends with the GF? If so, that's a major betrayal. My thing is, if a straight friend said that to me, I would've just said no. He has a girlfriend and he cheated on her. On top of that, if he did it while he was drunk, is it possible he was planning on doing this?
     
    #7 bookreader, Feb 19, 2017
  8. Nobo

    Nobo
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2016
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tonawanda
    By took it do you mean anal?
     
    #8 Nobo, Feb 19, 2017
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)