I feel alone

As far as I know your concerns are valid. After all, looking for someone of the same gender when ~90% of the people available around you (at best) is straight. Then you have to add the social pressure around young (in their twenties) people, which might come from the fact that all the people around you are dating BUT you're not, or you think (or have assimilated through lifelong exposure to love-praising media) that finding someone may be the cure/a distraction for your current lack of all social interactions and/or other life problems and so on.

So, first, it's normal. It sucks, but it happens. You're of age to use dating apps, however it all comes down to a matter of "do you feel ready?". If you don't, it's okay. Dating apps are scary, and I honestly doubt they'll be of any help.

Well then. How about the options? You're out to your family so you won't need to deal with the whole sneaking around them. Are they any clubs/bars near where you are? If it eventually comes down to dating your range of options is excruciatingly narrow. Now, that doesn't mean you're doomed yet. If you're ready to set "finding someone" aside for "bonding with people in friendly manners", you can join (assuming those exist in your vicinity) groups of interest around things you like, hoping that a hypothetical future partner would be there, or groups targeted at a primarily LGBT audience (and I'm being generic here because I don't have a clue what examples I can give).

I hope my practical rambling helped. If it didn't well I'm still sorry you're feeling that bad. It'll get better.

 

Of course you're allowed to complain, and you're also allowed to feel lonely and that's perfectly normal. Everyone gets lonely. Sometimes even in a room full of people someone can feel completely alone. Loneliness is a finicky emotion. It doesn't really ask for permission and it can be completely illogical at times.

What I've realized from experience is that loneliness is really just the desire for human connection, human intimacy. And before I get flagged, I'm not talking about sex. it can be as simple has having an open, honest conversation with someone who doesn't judge you. Or hearing the comfort of a someone's voice through a receiver. Even just a hug, a single hug with no words exchanged.

Loneliness is not reserved simply for the LGBT community. It's a symptom of every sexuality. It may seem like you're the only one feeling this way, but trust me a smile can hide a lot, and most people around you are probably feeling the same way. Despite what appearances might suggest.

Dating apps can be useful. Although they can also put a lot of pressure on people to do things they might not be comfortable with. It's up to you to decide what your comfort level is and then go from there. Hopefully if you use it you can find someone who matches your interests, which is a lot easier with how thorough these apps are nowadays. Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship. Some ppl spend their whole lives in relationships they hate just to avoid being alone. Maybe your "right person" just hasn't come along yet? As long as you stay open to the possibility they will find you.

p.s. sorry for the cliche at the end...and the wall of text

 

I don't know if I can help. But I think it is normal to go to bed and not be able to sleep because of your thoughts. I don't really struggle with that problem. But I tend to overthink throughout the day.

Please don't let your parents get you down. Keep your head up.