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Don't know if I really love my boyfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by gmaster, Feb 13, 2017.

  1. gmaster

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just a quick intro, I'm 16, male, cis, bi and have been in a same sex relationship for 6 months.

    I've been generally happy with my relationship with my boyfriend but more recently, he's been saying I love you a lot and I'm not sure if I can truthfully say the same. I've said it multiple times and I'll probably continue to, but I feel like I'm lying to both him and myself. I've considered breaking up with him but I don't know if I could face the consequences.

    He is clinically depressed and regularly self harms and has attempted suicide several times before. Since we've been dating, this has decreased and his family have told me that they have seen him to have been much happier over the last few months. Because of this, I'm afraid to break up with him because if he, god forbid, commits suicide, I'd feel absolutely terrible and it would be completely my fault.

    So I'm at moral crossroads here and I don't really know what to do so I'd just like to hear some other people's opinions and feel free to share similar stories if you'd like

    Cheers in advance.
     
  2. Swell

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Hello Gmaster,

    I want to start off by saying that you are not your boyfriend's savior. What I mean is that you are not required to stick around just because you think he might harm himself. If he is so depressed that he thinks suicide would be an appropriate solution after a breakup or any other issue, he needs to see a professional to help guide him through this rough period.

    With that said, you have only been with this guy for a short time, and if you really are happy in this relationship, I don't see why you cant just stick around.

    Provided he gets the help that he needs.

    For most, it takes time to achieve deep love.

    Relax, and go with the flow.
     
    #2 Swell, Feb 13, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 13, 2017
  3. CameOutSwinging

    Full Member

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    I'd say just have an honest conversation with him. It sounds like the biggest issue for you is that you're not really ready to say "I love you" or commit to those feelings. You're generally happy and likely having fun, but that doesn't mean you have to be head over heels into things right away. Tell him that you're not ready to say I love you, that it doesn't mean you're not happy with him or that you don't want to be with him, just that you're not ready to say those words yet (if he asks why you've said it then already, just say the truth...you wanted to make him happy).

    I will agree with the poster above though, you're not responsible for your boyfriend taking care of himself. You should also talk to him about that. Nobody should ever be trapped in a relationship because they're scared of what the other person, who they care about, may do to themselves if they were to break up.