Put simply, hit me with ways a not-out (mostly) gay guy can find a date. I'm 17, my school lacks anyone gay and my type, and ****** is full of wierdos. I would say I'm getting desperate, as my straight friends seem to find it easy to hook up and I want someone in my life too. Also, I'm not gonna rush it, I would just like the opportunity to find someone who fits the bill.
I kinda want to be blunt and say you have no mean of dating right now, and at the same time I can't say anything else. You're in a situation similar to what many of us experience, and to be honest, if nobody who's out at your school fits your requirements, your options are very limited, and even close to nonexistent. You could start with coming out at school (of course, if that's a possibility, and you're comfortable with that). It could encourage some (maybe-remaining) closeted people to come to you (and maybe those will be your type). Now if you can't do that you're essentially limited to clubs (assuming you can go there), the internet (assuming you can go there and have a sharp enough sense of paranoia/mistrust to avoid scams), and any outside activities where you may make friends and maybe see how things could evolve from there. For the desperation of being single, well, I asked about that a while ago but again nobody seems to have an answer on how to deal with that. Generally speaking, distraction through work/hobbies helps, to a certain extent. To put it in a nutshell, there is no real solution, it's based on luck, and the art of throwing as many fishing lines as possible in the pond to catch a fish, as far as I know.
Thanks for that. Think I'm getting somewhere via the internet, but am still being cautious and aware of the risks.
You will have many moments of lonliness and desperation regarding love and romance. But the fact is, if you aren't out at school, then no other young men have a reason to seek you out, and you have no way to find them. Arguably being gay makes the dating scene much harder, but I considered myself fully straight until 21 years old, so I was into women all throughout highschool. Only ever had two girlfriends, both of whom were pleasant people, but nothing to write home about. And beyond my experience with them, no one else ever showed interest in me, and no one else ever looked like my type. I'm 24 now, and still haven't had a partner, or even a date since. But I've never really hated myself for that because I never wanted to settle. My two previous girlfriends basically showed me that being desperate or too eager to find love just made things shallow, baseless, and unexciting. There was no chemistry between either of us, and that is so damn important. Best thing to do is just to keep your eyes and ears open. If you do find someone you fancy, then see if it's possible to go after them and ask them out. If not, then dont sweat it. It'll be hard, sure. But in the meantime, you have to find things to occupy your time. Don't make the rest of your highschool life about trying to date, and make it about something more productive. I had numerous hobbies all throughout middle school, highschool, and college that I'm now trying to make a career from. If you can find something to put all of your passion into, then your eagerness for love and romance may find an alternate outlet, making things less difficult for you in the end. Good luck, bro.
