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Uncomfortable over girlfriendss sexual past

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ahundredpennies, Feb 23, 2017.

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  1. ahundredpennies

    ahundredpennies
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    So first off I have only had sex with two people whom I was in a relationship with at the time. I do not engage in casual sexual relationships, and they carry a lot of emotional baggage for me personally.

    I recently have discovered that my GF was tested for std's because she had been with many people, men and women, and has also given casual oral sex to men. Now, thankfully she doesn't have anything.

    However, I find uncomfortable thinking about her being so intimate with other people, especially so casually. I think I might be a little jealous? Has anyone else been uncomfortable with a significant other's sexual history? Is this normal to feel upset about?
     
    #1 ahundredpennies, Feb 23, 2017
  2. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Sort of. When I first met my partner, I could count my sex partners on the fingers of my left hand. He...well, he may have needed a calculator. When I explicitly asked him, he said "I don't know - forty? fifty?" And for a day or two, I was feeling a bit weirded out by that. Part was me thinking...well, that I SHOULD feel weird that he was "slutty". And part was me feeling inferior, like I wasn't as "cool" as he was.

    But I decided all those past sex partners were great practice. Because he's awesome in bed. :slight_smile: So now I thank all those past lovers of his for giving him the practice.

    Lex
     
    #2 Lexington, Feb 23, 2017
  3. OtakuFreak

    OtakuFreak
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    Personally, if my partner does not have an STD I could care whether they had sex with 100 people, or just 1. It's completely normal to feel a little bit jealous, after all they are your partner. However, if she doesn't have an STD there is no need for additional concern.

    If your feelings of jealousy affect your relationship or yourself, then it's a clear sign you need to change something.
     
    #3 OtakuFreak, Feb 24, 2017
  4. Winter Storm

    Winter Storm
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    The number of people she has been with shouldn't be a problem. You can't change the past any more than she can.

    If you are worried about the ease in which she has had casual sex, it could be that you're worried about her cheating. Defining your relationship might help. Knowing that she views it as serious as you do might help ease your jealousy.

    If you are still struggling or jealous after being reassured, then you may have to just try and get over it.
     
    #4 Winter Storm, Feb 26, 2017
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