1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Asking out a barista

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by onlythebulls13, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. onlythebulls13

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2012
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    chicago
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello everyone.
    So, as a gay closeted introverted dude, traditional small talk abd number getting or asking out guys in public comes as one of my difficulties. Now theres this guy who used to work at a coffee shop near my house that i would go to. I was positive he was gay just because i saw occasionally hed wear gay pride bands, he has what most would call a somewhat "gay" voice and ive seen that he has cut himself before... im overly observant, but sneaky about it lol. We never really talked when he worked there but we would smile at each other and i just tried to give off a vibe of like, were in this together man, im one of the allies type of deal.

    Havent seen him for months until today at a new starbucks that opened up by my house that i decided to check out. He recognized me said hello and how he left the old place, yada yada.

    My question is how do i go about asking this guy out cause id like to try going on a date with him or something but i dont want to come off creepy or anything... yeah just dont know what to do. And he looks younger than me so im not sure if i would want to date someone alot less mature than me. I guess id be okay if he was as young as 22 but i dont think id want to go much younger.....help
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Having two friends who are Starbucks baristas, and gay... They say that this sort of thing happens all the time and as long as you are polite and respect boundaries, nobody will get upset.

    One simple solution would be to hand him a piece of paper with your phone # on it and say "hey, you seem cool. Here's my number, text me if you'd like to chat or do coffee sometime." If he's interested... He will text you.
     
  3. OtakuFreak

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2016
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Durham (England)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just because someone is the stereotypical appearance of a homosexual man, doesn't mean he is one. A 'gay' voice doesn't determine sexuality, and neither does him wearing gay pride - it could just be him being very supportive of gay people as an ally.

    I would first become friends with him, maybe ask him to hang out a bit and find out his sexuality and take it from there.

    ''Chip'' above has a great example on how to chat someone up.

    Good luck!
     
  4. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yes, giving a piece of paper with your contact info would be less obvious and still state your intentions.